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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29799687">Finding Home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katsimsam/pseuds/Katsimsam'>Katsimsam</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Song of Ice and Fire &amp; Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Dysfunctional Family, Dysfunctional Relationships, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jaienna Stark OC, Long One Shot, Mother-Daughter Relationship, One Shot, Past Relationship(s), Secret Child, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Sexual Content, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:48:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>28,417</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29799687</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katsimsam/pseuds/Katsimsam</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaime Lannister discovers that the girl who’s heart he broke 5 years ago has been hiding a pretty big secret from him.</p><p>But she’s got a good reason, one he can understand even if he doesn’t like it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jaime Lannister/Sansa Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>141</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Finding Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey guys!</p><p>Here a little one shot I’ve been working on. It’s kept me from updating any of my WIP’s, and also sleep lol. (J/k)</p><p>Trigger warnings apply for:</p><p>Language.<br/>Violent and threatening dialogue and behaviour.<br/>Lying and secret keeping.<br/>Questionable moral choices.</p><p>And probably a dozen things I haven’t thought to mention - hopefully I’ve tagged it well enough to avoid any confronting moment for anyone reading and I apologise in advance if I have not.</p><p>- Please me know if you spot something I missed, in the comments, so I can fix it.</p><p>I hope you enjoy!</p><p>❤️</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p>“Did you know that Sansa has a child?”</p><p> </p><p>“Wha-” He looked up in confusion as his brother slowly pushed his office door closed, and turned to meet his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“I asked: did you know that Sansa has a child?” His brother repeated. “You know, Sansa. - <em> Sansa Stark? </em>The lovely girl you let go of, so you didn’t have to admit to the fact that you’d fallen in lo-“</p><p> </p><p>“Yes.” Jaime interrupted quickly. “I got it.” </p><p> </p><p>He cleared his throat awkwardly and gave a false smile. One he knew wouldn’t have a chance in hell of fooling his brother.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime wasn’t sure why his brother would feel the need to bring him such news. Tyrion had to know that hearing such a thing would be painful for him. He was the only one that <em> could </em>know it, because he was the only who knew how Jaime felt about Sansa Stark.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t have any right to feel pained by that information though. It was none of his business what Sansa did with her life. It hadn’t been his business for a long time. He’d made sure of that.</p><p> </p><p>If she had moved on, he couldn’t blame her. It was not her fault that he never had.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know. But-“ He cleared his throat again and nodded solemnly. “I’m happy for her. She always wanted kids.”</p><p> </p><p>“Indeed. - You look happy.” Tyrion scoffed sarcastically.</p><p> </p><p>His brother slipped around his desk to stand at his side, where he was frozen in his seat. Dropping a thin file directly in front of him as he did, and flicking the cover open.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime couldn’t bring himself to look.</p><p> </p><p>“The child. Her name is Jaienna. She’s affectionately called ‘Little Jai’ by the Starks.” Tyrion explained quietly. </p><p> </p><p>Jaime closed his eyes, memories flooding his mind of once being the one she called Jai.</p><p> </p><p>Why she might name her daughter that, was beyond his ability to comprehend in that moment, but he had a sneaking, sickening suspicion that the child’s name and his brothers need to bring her existence to Jaime’s attention could potentially be related.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t want to look at the little girl and find any merit in that suspicion.</p><p> </p><p>“Look at her, Jaime.” His brother whispered and let his free hand come to rest on his shoulder gently. “She’s four years old, her birthday is March nineteenth.” Jaime swallowed hard as his brother continued, turning his whole world on its head with just a few words. “She’s a Lannister, Jaime... She is <em> all </em> Lannister.”</p><p> </p><p>He swallowed hard again, and pressed his lips together with his teeth, not trusting himself to hold his tongue, and not trusting that he could speak at all, either. Not without his voice trembling at least as much his hands were when they fell uselessly upon his desk.</p><p> </p><p>“Look at your daughter, Jaime.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It took Jaime a full twenty four hours to believe firstly, that he wasn’t going crazy, and secondly, that his brother wasn’t cruel enough to be pulling some sort of elaborate, heart shattering prank on him. </p><p> </p><p>It took him another whole day to decide that he did have a right to know for certain, and a responsibility to do something about what he had come to learn when that certainty was proven. Even if that responsibility only extended so far as to protect Sansa and the child she obviously didn’t want to share with him from his family.</p><p> </p><p>Three days after learning of Jaienna Starks existence, after full days of staring at the image of a teeny tiny female version of himself, he was in Winterfell. More specifically he was parked across the street from a quaint little bookstore sweetly named ‘Little Jai birds books’. Intently watching through the large front windows as the gorgeous redhead whose heart he had broken five years beforehand, flitted about amongst the shelves and behind the counter.</p><p> </p><p>He’d already turned back for his hotel twice and once he’d headed straight for the airport without a thought for his belongings still at the hotel. He’d even gotten out of his hired car a few times but only managed to pace up and down the sidewalk before ultimately throwing himself back into the drivers seat to stare at the window once more.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t the prospect of finding the child that he had not known he’d fathered inside of the little store, although that was daunting enough… It was the prospect of facing the woman he had thrown away because he was a coward, that had him acting a coward all over again.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime had loved Sansa. She was smart and funny and sweet and beautiful and he had been enchanted by her from the moment he met her. Unfortunately she had also been his nephews girlfriend at the time, and while he felt no guilt whatsoever over effectively stealing her away for his own? He did feel guilty that he’d never had the balls to admit it to anyone besides Tyrion who had worked it out on his own. </p><p> </p><p>Joffrey hadn’t deserved her anyway. And the truth was that technically speaking, she had stopped being Joffs girl at least in a physical sense, before she became Jaime’s girl. </p><p> </p><p>Sansa had been afraid to end things with Joff because of how cruel and vindictive he could be, but she had been prepared to do it, rather than wait for Joff to get sick of pretending that they were still together as she had planned to do. She was prepared to do that for Jaime... Because she loved him more than she feared Joffs petulance… While Jaime had been content for them to hide behind the farce that was her relationship with his sister’s son.</p><p> </p><p>It was about his pride, and The Lannister image. He hadn’t cared a single bit for Joffs thoughts or feelings on it, but Jaime had his personal fears. Fears of disappointing his Father and also angering his sister.</p><p> </p><p>He’d been a coward, and he had justified it as love and loyalty to his family having outweighed his love and loyalty to Sansa. He justified it to himself as claiming that it was better for he and Sansa both, to not be ripped to pieces any further by his families wrath, to try to continue being together.</p><p> </p><p>He’d been so much of a coward, that he’d convinced himself that his Father <em> would </em> be disappointed, despite all the evidence that proved his appreciation for Sansa as a person, and as a potential family member too, while she was only Joffs ‘ <em> Stark’ </em>girlfriend. Too disappointed to help Jaime protect her and what they had from anyone and everyone.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime knew that was a mistake now.</p><p> </p><p>He could and would admit now, that had his Father known she was Jaime’s girl more so than she’d ever been Joffs, she’d have been put on a pedestal that even Cersei could not have knocked her from.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t wrong about the family pride and the danger others in the family presented and all the rest. But all along he’d used his Fathers pride and his distaste for scandals being linked to their family name, as an added excuse. So that he could pretend that his Father would never have accepted Sansa for Jaime. </p><p> </p><p>All so that Jaime could keep hiding her like she was his very own dirty little secret, instead of the woman he loved.</p><p> </p><p>When Joff had finally agreed with Sansa in her determination that they were over, the little bastard had humiliated her publicly. He had lied about her to their family, and even more maliciously, her peers and professors too.</p><p> </p><p>He’d put on a ridiculous show of being the jilted party, and he’d knowingly and gleefully destroyed her life in the process.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime hadn’t put a stop to it. </p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t stood up for her. </p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t fought for her.</p><p> </p><p>What he had done was tell her that<em> ‘it was</em> <em>probably for the best, that she go home to Winterfell.</em>’ Then he had kissed her over and over, while she cried and begged him not to say that, which he had answered by telling her he did love her, and that he was sorry.</p><p> </p><p>Then he walked away. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Now he was looking to come crawling back into her life, with nothing but a probably very unwelcome suspicion, a well deserved guilty conscience and a broken heart that was no one's fault but his own. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jaime swallowed hard, shoving down all of the regret and self loathing and even the fear and knowledge that she wouldn’t want to talk to him. He reached for the door handle, determined to not run away again.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>——————</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Sansa shivered as if someone had walked over her grave, at the sound of heavy boots stepping up to the counter behind her.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be right with you.” She called politely to the newcomer, without looking.</p><p> </p><p>She was in by herself, and it usually didn’t bother her at all to run the small cafe bench set up to one side of her little bookstore as well as the front counter, and everything else to go with it. </p><p> </p><p>Even with her tiny adorable non-helper underfoot.</p><p> </p><p>It was <em> her </em> bookstore, and <em> her </em> little cafe bench, and besides her daughter, it was also her pride and joy. It was a happy place for her and her daughter both. And she’d worked hard to create it for them.</p><p> </p><p>So it pleased her to have time with just her and her Little Jai there.</p><p> </p><p>But for some reason, she was on edge, with Gilly her only employee, and dearest friend, being out for the day.</p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t explain why she was so uncomfortable though, only that she was, and she couldn’t seem to shake it off.</p><p> </p><p>“If you ca-“ Sansa froze mid sentence <em> - mid word - </em>as she turned to take in the man standing just inside of the doorway.</p><p> </p><p>The ghost from her past that was staring at her, with a nervous smile and a guilty posture.</p><p> </p><p>The small cup of hot chocolate that she had just finished putting together, and was about to excuse herself to deliver quickly before helping who she had thought was a <em> customer </em>, slipped from her fingers and smashed on the hardwood floor.</p><p> </p><p>The shattering and splintering of the porcelain echoed loudly in the silent room, though not loudly enough to overcome the ringing in her ears.</p><p> </p><p>“Mama what was dat?” Sansa blinked at the sound of her daughter’s startled yelp, and swung around in horror as her little girl careened around the corner and under the gap in the counter.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh no! My chocolate!” Jaienna cried pitifully.</p><p> </p><p>Her daughter’s devastated tone jolted her again, this time into action.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa stepped forward, over the mess she had made, and pulled the tiny blonde beauty up into her arms just as she was preparing to drop onto her knees amongst the spilled drink, and sharp bits of debris. </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t stop her motion either, she kept walking, lifting the counter, opening up and slipping under it, straight towards the door to the rear hall and the safety of her personal office.</p><p> </p><p>She needed to get away. </p><p> </p><p>She needed to get <em> her </em> daughter away.</p><p> </p><p>“Sansa, wai-“</p><p> </p><p>“Get out.” She called quietly, over her shoulder, her voice shaking violently as she did. Before letting the hall door fall closed behind her. Symbolically closing off her past from impinging on the life she had built on her own.</p><p> </p><p>She was shaking.</p><p> </p><p>From terror, and upset, and anger. </p><p> </p><p>But not from a dropped hot chocolate, like her daughter was bemoaning so very dramatically, in her arms.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa clung tightly to her baby and closed her eyes as she lowered them both onto the small sofa she kept in her office for her daughter to nap on, simply holding  her little girl as both of their faces became wet with tears.</p><p> </p><p>She should have had more respect for her instincts, but there was no way she could have predicted that past ghosts would so brazenly show up in her shop. </p><p> </p><p>Without either warning, or invite.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> “Who’s the father, if not Joffrey?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She had been terrified to find out that she was pregnant. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And devastated. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She had hoped also, that the sick feeling she had been carrying around over the idea of telling her parents, was an overreaction. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Her hope had been lost with the first words out of her mothers mouth. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> They were disappointed in her. It was written all over both of their faces. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> They were maybe even more disappointed, when she was quick to point out that the child wasn’t her scumbag ex’s. - That it couldn’t be, because they’d been distant - they’d been </em> <b> <em>over </em> </b> <em> long before they eventually broke up fully and for good. </em></p><p> </p><p><em> Not that they would have wanted a permanent, life long connection to Joffrey, especially not after what he had done to her when </em> <b> <em>he </em> </b> <em> finally decided they were done. But she could see it in their eyes, that they were trying to figure out what was worse: that she might be lying and letting Joffrey off the hook for what should be his responsibility also… Or that she had been </em> <b> <em>unfaithful</em> </b> <em> in her relationship, which would be a stain on her honour as a person, no matter that Joffrey had been a far bigger ass to her than she had ever been to him. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She could even see that they were trying to ascertain whether or not Joffrey's lies had been the truth of it, after all. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “The baby isn’t Joffreys.” She closed her eyes against the pain that radiated in her chest, thanks to the disappointment in her parents eyes. “This baby is mine, and has no Father.” She whispered with finality. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Sansa opened her eyes and lifted her chin in determination. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She meant to see this through. For herself. And for her child. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> It wouldn’t help her reputation at all, to refuse to name the baby’s father. But she knew that Joffrey's lies about her sleeping around for better grades and leg ups with internships and the like, were exactly that. </em> <b> <em>Lies. </em> </b> <em> So it didn’t matter. Not her reputation, and not even her parents thoughts, or suspicions, or their opinions on her behaviour. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> They, like everyone else, could think what they wanted. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> If that was that she had slept around for those advantages and wound up back home with a ruined reputation, single and pregnant, with no schooling or future career prospects because she’d been </em> <b> <em>accused</em> </b> <em> of sleeping with her professors - so be it. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> What mattered now was her baby. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> “I will raise them on my own if I have to… If you cannot or will not help me… I will respect that.” She swallowed hard, not willing to look at her parents, but committed to following through on what she had to say. “But I will </em> <b> <em>never </em> </b> <em> risk my baby’s heart being broken, because another does not want them, as they did not and do not want me… And I will have you respect that in return, if you respect nothing else.” </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “It’s not about want, Sansa. It’s about responsibility-“ </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> “It is.” She agreed, interrupting her Dads thoughts. “ </em> <b> <em>Mine.</em> </b> <em> It’s my responsibility.” She sobbed sadly and nodded to him, bypassing her Mother’s painfully cold eyes. “I’ll stay with Arya until I can figu-“ </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Her Dad sat forward quickly, and took her hands, shaking his head. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “You will stay here, where we can help you. I didn’t mean that Sweetheart, not at all... I was talking about the fathers responsibility to you and to the child… He has one - at the very least it’s his responsibility to look after his child, just as it’s my responsibility to look after my child.” Ned Stark sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes with his free hand, showing just how much it was hurting him to have the conversation they were having. “You sure you don’t want to name him?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> She nodded deftly, breaking her heart and hardening it against </em> <b> <em>him</em> </b> <em> finally, all with one decision. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “At the very least he should know. And he should either take responsibility - financially at a minimum - or he should have the option to sever his rights entirely, Sansa.” Her Father tried once more. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “He has no rights if I do not name him. And he has no right to those rights, after throwing me away as if I meant nothing.” She huffed a dark breathy laugh and shook her head. “Less than nothing, even.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Whether it was morally right or not, for her to decide that, she knew that Jaime wouldn’t want the baby.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Just like he didn’t want her. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And despite that, if he did know about them? His family would soon learn of them too, and he’d take her child because they would push him to. Or they would do it regardless of what he would want, and he’d let them. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Just like he stood back and let them destroy her reputation, and her final year of university. As well as any chance at a career and a life in Kings Landing.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Only to deliver the final blow himself, and rip her heart out entirely. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><b> <em>No</em> </b> <em> , he had no rights, because it </em> <b> <em>wasn’t right, </em> </b> <em> to knowingly expose an innocent child to the cruelties that the Lannister family were capable of. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She’d love and protect her baby from their paternal family. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She’d be enough on her own, to be both of her baby’s parents. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She’d have to, to prove that neither she, nor her baby would ever need Jaime Lannister. </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Jaienna had long since calmed down and dozed off for the nap that Sansa had been working towards settling her down for, when she had dropped her hot chocolate. Thankfully she had done so without the hot chocolate she requested to warm her belly and make her sleepy, that Sansa had promised her. Though Sansa would have preferred to be stable enough herself to make her a second, if it meant she didn’t cry herself to sleep over the first, as she had.</p><p> </p><p>Her baby wouldn’t remember her upset once she woke though. She’d remember that she didn’t get her drink, and that her Mama had made a mess of course, bright little thing that she was. But she’d move on easily, likely with a cheeky smile and a request for a second one that she’d actually get to enjoy. And Sansa would happily oblige.</p><p> </p><p>Such was the resilience of children.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa smiled softly and fingered her wild blonde curls gently, letting them tangle around her fingers as she did. </p><p> </p><p>She had lowered her daughter to lay down comfortably, once she was out to it, but even knowing she’d be sound asleep now, Sansa hadn’t been able to move away at all.</p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t.</p><p> </p><p>Her own devastation was not so easily dismissed, and seeing the evidence of it all over the floor, and in the exact spot that she had come face to face with <em> him </em> again, made it all too real.</p><p> </p><p>It didn’t matter that the shop was open and no one was out there. Nor did the mess itself need cleaning immediately. She needed the reminder that staring at her daughter always brought. She needed to see that she was safe, and as loved as Sansa, the only parent Little Jai had ever known or needed, could make her.</p><p> </p><p>If someone had come in after he left, they’d have rung the bell for help, with no one out there.</p><p> </p><p>No bell had been rung, so she didn’t need to move away.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s beautiful.” His quiet, tentative voice called from the doorway.</p><p> </p><p>Sansas chin dropped at the same time her heart did.</p><p> </p><p><em> No bell had been rung. </em>- Not even the one above the front door, to signify that he’d listened to her.</p><p> </p><p>Despite her clear instructions, Jaime Lannister had welcomed himself to stay. And he’d waited until she stopped crying, and her daughter was settled, to approach her again.</p><p> </p><p>“I told you to get out.” She whispered brokenly.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa reached for the phone in her pocket, not bothering to look at him, and not giving herself time to think on how she was going to explain his presence away.</p><p> </p><p><em> Knowing </em> that his presence would likely confirm what her family - her Dad at least - had long suspected.</p><p> </p><p>She had no choice though. She had to get him to leave and she had to do it before Jaienna woke and had a chance to become curious about the man who was refusing to leave and who was so upsetting her Mama.</p><p> </p><p>She would just have to deal with explaining everything to her family when they learned that she’d had to call the police to have Jaime Lannister removed from her store.</p><p> </p><p>“Please don’t make whatever call you are thinking about making… I just wanted to talk to you. I won’t hurt you - or her.” He hedged softly. His voice not changing at all from that guilty quiet tone that he’d had when he’d first called out to her out in the shop.</p><p> </p><p>“Not physically, no.” She lifted her eyes to meet his contrite, begging, green orbs. And found herself feeling even angrier at the clear evidence of <em> his upset. </em> “You won’t beat us, no. But the hurt you can inflict will be even more devastating. <em> Trust me, I know it well.” </em>She ground out through her teeth, clinging to her anger so her heartbreak couldn’t surface. “So I’ll be making that call, and you’ll be leaving. The only choice you have is if you do so of your own free will, with the promise to forget that you came here and what you obviously think you found... Or ignore me, and I will have you forcibly removed and arrested for trespassing.”</p><p> </p><p>“Trespassing!” He scoffed incredulously.</p><p> </p><p><em> “Yes. Trespassing. </em> Perhaps even harassment, because you refuse to leave, despite my clear requests that you do so. It may not seem terribly threatening to a <em> Lannister. </em> But do try to remember that you’re in The North, - we do things differently here. More <em> honourably… </em> There will be no warning or slap on the wrist should I decide to press charges. <em> ” </em> She hissed in warning.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright... I’ll take a <em> trespassing </em> charge.” He sighed heavily and stepped warily and slowly into the room, keeping his distance in a bid to seem less threatening, until he could move the chair from her desk around to sit down across from her. “Sansa, I’ll take a harassment charge and an order to keep my distance too, if it will make you feel better. But I need to talk to you first… I need for you to know that I won’t let <em> them </em>take her from you… If she’s mi-“</p><p> </p><p>“She’s mine. They legally can’t take her, only one person <em> might </em>be able to, and he’s currently in enemy territory.” She snapped icily.</p><p> </p><p>“So she is mine.” Jaime blew out a desperate breath and swallowed hard, as he stared at her sleeping girl. “Good. That’s good. Joffrey can’t do anything if he learns she exists…  At least not legally.”</p><p> </p><p>Tears rolled thickly down her face as she glared at him, her phone forgotten in her hand, but for the ache it caused as she gripped it almost to breaking point. The pain in her hand was nothing compared to the fear and loathing that was building in her chest.</p><p> </p><p>Once upon a time it would have hurt her to see him so lost as he was in that moment. But she wasn’t that person anymore and she refused to feel anything but pride for having protected her baby girl from the pain that the still handsome man before her could inflict.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s mine.” Sansa sobbed harshly around the stabbing pain in her chest. “<em> Mine </em>. She’s never been yours. You didn’t carry her, or bring her into the world. You don’t even know her name or her birthday, or her favourite colour, or what she’s afraid of… You don’t know her smile, or any of her thoughts… You don’t get to come here and call her yours.”</p><p> </p><p>“Her name is Jaienna.” He whispered softly, letting his eyes flick to her own quickly, before focusing back on her slumbering darling. “You call her Little Jai. Her birthday is March nineteen, and she is four years old.”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa sobbed again and shook her head at him, desperately begging him with her eyes, to not do this to her, whatever he was planning. </p><p> </p><p>“She’s never met her father, because he didn’t even know she existed until a few days ago.” He kept going despite the obvious pain he knew he was causing her. “And he doesn’t <em> deserve </em> to know her, or her thoughts and smiles. Not even her favourite colour… Not after all he did and didn’t do… But it’s still his job to protect her, now he does know.”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa gasped and blinked over at him in disbelief.</p><p> </p><p>It was clear as could be in his tear drenched eyes. </p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t lying.</p><p> </p><p>But those same eyes had turned away from her despite both of their tears, the last time she had looked into them, too. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> So his truth, be damned. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I had to know, so I could do what I should have done then Sans… If they find out about her, legal or not, they will try everything they can to take her off you, because of what he made them all believe you’d done.” He voiced her worst fears. “But they can’t if I stand in the way… If I tell them all the tru-“</p><p> </p><p><em> “Why?” </em>She breathed desperately.</p><p> </p><p>She shifted just enough to make it clear that she would always be between him and <em> her </em>baby. Even if he did no more than innocently watch her sleep. </p><p> </p><p>He wanted to protect her from his family supposedly, but Sansa wanted to protect her from him.</p><p> </p><p>“Why what hmm?” He snarled. “Why would I care? Why would I protect my child? Why would I come here? Why would I want to know? Why <em> what, </em>Sansa?” </p><p>His temper snapping finally. Likely more over her move to block his view of Jaienna, than anything else.</p><p> </p><p>“Why couldn’t you do that for me?” She demanded with a quiet hiss. “Had you at least <em> tried </em> to, then you’d <em> know her. </em> You’d have known all about her, and had the chance to be around. She’s your blood, yes. I won’t deny it, <em> there’s no point trying to, </em> anyone with eyes and knowledge that we’d been together would see that Jaime! But she’s <em> not </em> your child, she is <em> my child. </em> And you couldn’t bring yourself to protect me, to fight for me. Why should I <em> trust you </em> to do so for her?” </p><p> </p><p>It was coming across incredibly selfish, and that was not her intent. But she needed to understand, even if she didn’t trust a damned word he said, she wanted to know, she wanted him to <em> say it, </em>even if it was all lies.</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t possibly love her when you don’t know her, and you shoved me away after claiming you did - <em> as </em> you told me to leave, you claimed to love me! So <em> why </em> ? - It’s obviously not <em> love </em> that makes you want to protect her… Is it because she has Lannister blood? Forget she has even a single drop-“</p><p> </p><p>“Stop it.” He growled dangerously low.</p><p> </p><p>She’d hit a nerve and she didn’t care one iota. She was terrified and hurting and she would be damned if she didn’t do everything she could to chase him away from her baby.</p><p> </p><p>“I understand why you would keep her away from me after the way I hurt you. I even accepted that I had no right to be hurt by you not telling me about her, whether or not she was mine… I <em>am </em>hurting, but I get it and I don’t blame you…<em> I am even</em> <em>proud</em> that you’ve kept her away and protected her from my family after everything we did to you.” He swallowed hard, his throat bobbing visibly as she stared at him through watery eyes. “But don’t you dare question whether I really love you, and don’t question whether it’s possible to fall in love with your own flesh and blood on sight... You’re a mother Sansa. You <em>know </em>that is possible.”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa winced and glared at him harder still, tears streaming down her burning cheeks, as his loud whispers, his cutting and vicious tone disturbed Jaienna enough to have her stirring and rubbing her face into the stuffed toy she was clinging to.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t looking at her though, his eyes were locked on her sweet, messy, beautiful baby. With her wild curls sticking up everywhere, and her cheeks all pink, and her little brow furrowed in annoyance at being so disturbed.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t come here looking to upset you, or expecting an invitation into your life or hers.” He whispered much more softly, deflating completely while not taking his eyes off of the tiny girl who was made in his exact image. “And I won’t take her away. My word doesn’t mean a thing to you anymore, no matter what we once had… I know that… But-“ He paused and swallowed hard, before imploring her with his eyes. “-Sansa, I will do whatever I have to. Whatever you think necessary. I’ll even sign a contractual agreement so you don’t have to trust my words or my faith and intentions, but legal ramifications if I fail to keep my word.”</p><p> </p><p>He met her eyes with tears in his, after having flicked another desperate look at Jaienna.</p><p> </p><p>“I just want to meet her, Sansa. <em> Please </em> . I want a chance, I know I don’t deserve it, but I want to earn the right to have one… I want to do what I should have done years ago.” He swallowed hard, making her heart break all over again, with his obvious pain. Despite her determination to feel nothing, she couldn’t help it. She had never been able to help the things he could make her feel. “I can’t ever take it back, and for that...” He stopped short of apologising, and shook his head. <em> “I made a mistake. </em> I’ve made a lot, but pushing you away, instead of pulling you closer… Not standing up for you at least…  That was the worst, by far. I’ve been paying for it since I lost you, and now I’m paying twice as badly, because of her... Don’t forgive me for that, I don’t deserve it… But <em> please Sansa. </em> Let me try to do the right thing now.”</p><p> </p><p>He was begging her.</p><p> </p><p>She had never, ever seen him beg for a single thing.</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t even know he knew how.</p><p>
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</p><p>——————</p><p>
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</p><p>Jaime walked into his Fathers office without bothering to knock, or announce himself.</p><p> </p><p>He was nervous enough over what he was about to do, without balking at the last moment, because of formalities.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa had given him a chance.</p><p> </p><p>She had given him time to make a definite decision for himself, and asked that he see to having his blood work done, for the purposes of proving without a shadow of a doubt that Jaienna was his daughter. No matter his decision in regards to potentially getting to know Jaienna, Sansa had agreed that acknowledging Jaime was her biological father was less risky than having Joffrey somehow find out she had a child that looked too much like a Lannister to be able to deny it, and assume she was his.</p><p> </p><p>In return he’d had to sign a makeshift written agreement to say he would not attempt to take her from her Mother or the home she had always known, until they could have more appropriate legal documents drawn up and signed, pending their final decisions about him being in the girls life.</p><p> </p><p>It was a means of finding some sort of starting point, without truly starting.</p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t hesitated with the blood tests. Sansa had met him at a clinic in downtown Winterfell the next morning to provide permission to have his blood compared to her daughters, and so that he could entrust the final findings into her care. He hadn’t hesitated to entrust the findings to her either, because it was her that was going out on a limb and trusting his intentions when he didn’t deserve her trust at all.</p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t hesitate now either, else he’d squander what little trust he gained and the only opportunity he’d have to know his child, as a result.</p><p> </p><p>He had to act, and he had to do so in a way that would prove to her his seriousness about wanting to know his daughter, and his determination to do right by them both, too.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime felt a sliver of shame at his Fathers irritated glare, but it was nothing on what he knew was coming. And it was but a microscopic amount compared with the shame he felt over his past actions that led him to this exact moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Can I help you, Jaime?” His intimidating sire dragged out, as he turned his attention back to study whatever was on his laptop screen.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime knew the move well, it was one he’d experienced many times when he had rudely interrupted his Father without warning. It was an intimidation tactic meant to point out and in a way, repay the lack of respect that had been shown to his Father.</p><p> </p><p>He hesitated for only a single heartbeat, before dropping the file in his hand on his Fathers wide, overly ornate antique hardwood desk, and then easing himself into the chair across from him.</p><p> </p><p>He waited, his heart slamming in his chest as his Father fingered the cover for a moment while glaring at him, before giving in and opening it.</p><p> </p><p>Jaiennas photo was on top.</p><p> </p><p>He had done it on purpose.</p><p> </p><p>And as he expected would happen, his Father's eyes shot straight to his face, after taking in her angelic little features.</p><p> </p><p>“Her name is Jaienna.” He licked his lips. “Jaienna Stark… And she is <em> my daughter.” </em></p><p> </p><p>Tywin Lannister sat back slowly, taking the large printed photo with him, held aloft so he could better study it. The man held his tongue for long moments as his eyes shifted back and forth between it and Jaime himself.</p><p> </p><p>“Stark?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sansa.” Jaime nodded and then winced as his Father cocked a brow in a silent demand for answers.</p><p> </p><p>He took a moment to steady his racing heart and clear his mind enough to get the words out. He wouldn’t risk not doing everything he could to make sure that this meeting went as he needed it to. </p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t told Sansa that he meant to go to his Father. In truth, he had weighed the merits of it for days before deciding that he would need to if he truly meant to protect them both. But he didn’t want to risk setting off the exact type of situation that Sansa had feared when she decided to keep Jaienna from him and his family, either. </p><p> </p><p>He needed his father to know and understand the truth of it all, so he wouldn’t react poorly to Sansa having kept his child away from him and his family.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s all there.” He waved at the file. “I’m waiting on the full paternity results to prove it beyond any possible doubt. The preliminary blood type tests prove she has the same type as me, but more in-depth testing of both of our DNA will give us a conclusive result. I don’t need it, I know she’s mine.” He admitted and nodded at the photo. “She’s obviously a Lannister, and she can’t be Joffs. The timeline doesn’t fit.”</p><p> </p><p>“And you were fucking her too, conveniently at the <em> correct </em>time for it to fit with the child’s conception.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaime squirmed under his Fathers steadily rising ire, the mans tone bellying his scepticism of such a notion.</p><p> </p><p>He’d not show it visibly, but Jaime had known Tywin Lannister for his entire life. - He knew when his Father had been caught off guard, and he knew when he was trying to calculate everything in his mind so he might understand it as quickly as possible, whilst looking for any potential bullshit.</p><p> </p><p>He knew when he was frustrated at having missed such a thing as Jaime having a relationship with Sansa, to begin with, and now he was frustrated at having to catch up.</p><p> </p><p>“It was more than that, but yes. Sansa and I were together in the last months of the time she lived in Kings Landing. No matter how it appeared, it was <em> only me </em> she was with at the time.” He sighed sadly, but met his Dads eyes head on. “She and Joff had been over for months by the time he made it… <em> Publicly official… </em>She didn’t care that he wouldn’t acknowledge that they were over before that because she just didn’t care what he did and it didn’t matter because I was still wrestling with the idea of acknowledging publicly that she and I were together too. In the end, I threw it all away, for sake of my own pride and what was left of her shredded reputation, which is why you never knew.”</p><p> </p><p>He cleared his throat and continued at his Father's nod to go ahead.</p><p> </p><p>“When Joffrey finally let things end, she hoped I’d give us a chance to be together openly. But then the little bastard set out to make her pay for <em> privately </em> humiliating him, by <em> publicly </em>humiliating her. As you know, he did such a fine job of convincing everyone that his lies were truth that it completely ruined any chance she had at continuing her life in Kings Landing.” Jaime sighed heavily, letting the guilt of his own inaction roll over and through him anew. “Sansa never seduced any of her professors, and she never slept with anyone to get intern placements either. Joff was just pissed that she didn’t want him as he expected her to.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, she just slept with his uncle under his nose instead.” His Father interrupted sardonically. “Some might assume he had reason to <em> be pissed - </em>as you so eloquently put it.”</p><p> </p><p>“After <em> I </em> seduced <em> her </em> .” He clarified pointedly. “And don’t point fingers, Joffrey was sleeping around on her too, for far longer I might add… Let’s also acknowledge that outside of <em> his </em> cheating, he treated her abysmally and deserved to be dumped on his ass long before it truly ended too.” He chuckled darkly. “Besides... she tried to <em> remain faithful </em> to him all the same. She certainly didn’t make it easy on me to win her over… In fact I think she genuinely hated me to start with, for having the hide to even try.” He grinned to himself at the memory of her fighting his advances. </p><p> </p><p>God she had been a feisty little thing.</p><p> </p><p>He loved that about her, then and still.</p><p>
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</p><p>
  <em> “What is wrong with you?” She hissed, looking around to ensure no one could see them talking as they were. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He smiled lecherously and leaned in closer to brush the wisp of hair that had come loose, behind her ear. Turning his charm level up to a full eleven on his one to ten scale, just for the beautiful girl before him. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Quite a bit, Sansa.” He admitted. Letting his hand linger by her face, at least until she pushed it away and glared at him. “By far the biggest issue I have, is that I can’t have something I desperately want.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> “We don’t always get what we want, </em> <b> <em>Uncle Jaime. </em> </b> <em> Not everything is up for sale.” She hit back. </em></p><p> </p><p><em> “I’ve no intention of </em> <b> <em>buying, </em> </b> <em> Darling.” He winked, utterly enchanted by her determination to keep him from finding success with her. </em></p><p> </p><p><em> “No, just </em> <b> <em>using</em> </b> <em> for your own selfish ends, no matter the price to others.” She scoffed, and pushed at his chest. “You need to stop this. Enough is enough, you know my answer.” </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He watched in quiet delight, chewing at his lip in thought as she brushed past him. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He was weighing up whether it - she - was truly worth the potential shit storm it could create for him to keep trying and eventually find his success. Success he knew he’d find if he kept trying, she was far from immune to him, her pride just kept getting in his way. She wanted him too, maybe just as much as he wanted her, but she was a stubborn little thing who was just so determined to fight it. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> He </em> <b> <em>really </em> </b> <em> liked that about her though. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She cried out and crumpled, reaching down to remove the prickle that had stuck into her toe, as she strolled across the manicured lawns of his families large Lannisport estate, where they were all enjoying the weekend, in nothing but her bare feet, and the adorable baby pink polish that decorated her toenails. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And that was it, right then and there. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The moment of clarity. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He wanted her, and he’d have her, and she’d be worth it. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Her and her sweet little pink toes. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> “I know that you have said you’re not interested, Sansa.” He called softly, smiling as she spun to face him again, while still scowling at the sharpness stuck hard in her foot. “But what you say and what you truly want, are different things… And what you </em> <b> <em>think</em> </b> <em> I want, is not even close to the truth of it.” </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He chuckled at her as she finally gave in and sat so she could take a proper look at the offending toe-attacker, while deftly ignoring his words and his presence. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Jaime crouched down beside her and took her foot gently in his own hand and scratched at the small embedded sliver until it let go and came away finally. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> “You should know.” He smiled at her gently, and rubbed both of his hands over her dainty foot before releasing it, at her tugging insistence. “That I actually don’t like to share, and I don’t actually like playing around… I am also my Fathers son, I want what I want and I don’t rest until it’s mine, and </em> <b> <em>only </em> </b> <em> mine… Especially when what I want, clearly wants me too… For the right pay off, all risks are worth it.” </em></p><p>
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</p><p>If only he had lived by his own words, and faced the risks for the pay off he had wanted, rather than collapsing under the weight of them.</p><p> </p><p>“You loved her.” It wasn’t a question, and his Father clearly already knew that he did.</p><p> </p><p>It had to be written all over his face as he let his mind wander to happier times.</p><p> </p><p>“I still do.” He admitted freely. “I always will.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yet you let your own nephew destroy her and then chase her off, without a single complaint.” His Fathers words were clipped, and brutal. “Why?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Why… She had asked him that too. - Demanded an answer that he didn’t want to give. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>His Father wouldn’t let him avoid it as she has.</p><p> </p><p>“I was ashamed of myself for chasing her the way I did and putting us in such an awkward position. I was ashamed of our age gap, because I’m old enough to be her father. I hated that I was comfortable with everyone thinking she was still Joffs girl. That I hadn’t made it clear to the whole damned world, that she wasn’t… And I was cowardly enough that I convinced myself it was better that she get away from it and let the scandal blow over, while saving herself from us all, myself included; To avoid the added drama of fighting what was being said about her, when being with me openly after what was said, would only make it seem all the more believable.” He stated plainly.</p><p> </p><p>The shame was cloying, and impossible to swallow down, even in light of his Fathers curiously contemplative look. It hurt to finally admit it out loud, but it was the whole truth of it.</p><p> </p><p>He had expected outright scorn from his father, but he’d not received it.</p><p> </p><p>Instead his Father seemed to be exhibiting some strange contradictory combination of both  disappointment and pride.</p><p> </p><p>Tywin Lannister nodded slowly, and turned to take in his newly found granddaughters sweet little face again, in the flat lines of the lifeless image, that he still held clutched in his hand.</p><p> </p><p>“It takes true strength to admit weakness, and show pride in owning to your faults.” His Father stated quietly. In an oddly understanding tone. “You were a coward, a weak boy who hid behind excuses, and there is <em> no </em> excuse for such deplorable behaviour, Jaime… But there can be redemption, if one learns and grows and later corrects their behaviour.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaime stared in stunned silence as his Father finally laid the photo down, and straightened it to sit neatly upon his desk. </p><p> </p><p>“Fatherhood will teach a man rather quickly, that he was never truly a man, <em> until </em> he became a Father.” He tapped a long, elegant finger over Jaiennas picture, directly over her little nose. “She will be the lesson you have very clearly needed. And you will have to work to truly earn your place in her life after the mistakes you made with her mother.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaime swallowed hard and nodded, as he met his Fathers piercing, moss green glare.</p><p> </p><p>“You will leave the correction of The Stark girl’s reputation to me. It will be payment for permission to meet my granddaughter.” It wasn’t a request. “And you will do what you must to be <em> allowed </em>to claim her as your daughter, and the Lannister that she is.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaime cleared his throat uncomfortably, but nodded in understanding.</p><p> </p><p>There was at least one more thing that needed to be said, whether his Father wanted to hear it or not.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean to disown Joffrey. For the sake of protecting Jaienna from him - and yes, even Sansa too. As well as protecting my chance to know my daughter, and to get to know Sansa again <em> if I’m very bloody lucky </em> , and she allows me to… I won’t have him in my life.” He breathed slowly, the tightness in his chest loosening with every word. “I won’t allow him even the slightest possible window into Jaiennas life. Not after the cruelties he visited upon her mother… Joff will have <em> nothing </em> to do with her, me or Sansa. - Nor will Cersei if she tries to fight me on Joffreys behalf… If they attempt anything, I’ll go public with what really happened.” He stated unequivocally. “Every sordid and cruel detail of what Sansa and Joffs relationship <em> really was, </em>will be fodder for the masses, unless you ensure that Cersei at least understands my demands in this and takes responsibility to ensure he keeps his distance and his silence.”</p><p> </p><p>His Father sucked in a whistling breath and narrowed his eyes until they were tiny flints of flashing green and gold.</p><p> </p><p>“And myself? Your brother, Robert, The rest of the family? You mean to walk away from all of us now, or only the ones whom <em> you let </em>hurt her?” His Father snarled.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime straightened in his seat and held himself proudly, taking cue from how Sansa had taken him on.</p><p> </p><p>“Robert and Tyrion are the ones who ensured that Sansa could finish her degree online from Winterfell and graduate with the honours she had earned. They worked diligently, when no one was watching them, talking to her professors and those in charge at KLU, to ensure that they knew the truth… Of course they didn’t make a point of coming forward with that truth to clear Sansas name publicly either, but they did more than anyone else did for her at the time. <em> - </em>She doesn’t need me to protect her or Jaienna from them in particular.”</p><p> </p><p>He explained, knowing full well that no-one besides himself, - not even Sansa, had known that they had been behind the University’s decision to allow her to finish her education with them, despite the claims of her inappropriate conduct, and her resulting expulsion from campus.</p><p> </p><p>Yes, they had also kept it quiet to protect Joffrey from the mess of his own making, but they had done something at least. </p><p> </p><p>Which was more than even he did.</p><p> </p><p>“Besides myself, Joffrey is the only one that knowingly hurt her. The rest of you, Cersei included, only reacted to the lies you were led to believe.” Jaime glared right back at his Father. “I’m not asking you to disown him from the Lannister family as a whole. Nor am I saying that there’ll never be opportunity for the rest of you to know Jaienna. - I am just <em> telling </em> you, I will no longer consider Joffrey to be a member of <em> my family. </em>I refuse to even pretend as I have done for the years that have passed since he went out of his way to destroy the woman I loved… He and I are done.”</p><p> </p><p>His Father stared him down for long moments, waiting for him to break and squirm like a naughty child.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime stared right back, refusing to back down.</p><p> </p><p>And then his Father smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“Good. You’ve learned what it is to be a man, and what it means to be a Father.” His Father sat forward and quickly flicked through the rest of the file. “You will get me those <em> positive </em> paternity test results the moment they are available, so I may act accordingly in regards to the financial and legal obligations that are long overdue for your daughter... You’re on leave until I’ve had an opportunity to deal with everything necessary to correct the mistakes made by <em> Lannister’s </em>. I will also ensure that that boy is kept on his leash so that you face no issues from him… You are to let your uncle know on your way out, so he can find someone to fill in for you. Take the jet back to Winterfell until further notice. Now get out.”</p><p> </p><p>He stood with only a small moment of hesitation, and turned to do as he had been bid.</p><p> </p><p>He needed a moment somewhere quiet to process all of what had just happened.</p><p> </p><p>“Jaime?” He paused at the door and looked back in question. “The girl's name, Jaienna, where did Sansa come up with it?”</p><p> </p><p>He smiled a little bashfully, and shrugged as his Father waited.</p><p> </p><p>He would enjoy this. </p><p> </p><p>“Jaime, Joanna. She was named for me and Mother, because she was all Lannister, right from birth, and Sansa thought that was all the girl would ever have of me.” He huffed a tired laugh and shook his head, still not quite sure how to believe it himself. “After all I did to break her, and for as much as she hated me for those things, she still honoured me in that way.”</p><p> </p><p>He watched as his Father sat back slowly and smiled, the picture once more in his hand. </p><p> </p><p>Jaime had known before his Father even saw it, that he’d see the truth of his daughter. Upon closer inspection of her beautiful little sleeping face, and the photos Sansa had allowed him to have, he discovered that it wasn’t just himself that his little girl looked like. She also looked a lot like his late mother.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa had named her well.</p><p> </p><p>“I require regular updates on my grand daughter, with photographs and videos. Ensure that Miss Stark will allow it.” The family patriarch commanded, while propping the picture up against the heavy paperweight he had pulled from his top draw, for that sole purpose. “Now go, Jaime.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>——————</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa rolled her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>It was the <em> seventh </em>time since he’d returned from his trip back to Lannisport, that he’d asked if she was sure that it was alright that he actually meet her daughter so soon after she’d decided that he could.</p><p> </p><p>And the truth was that she wasn’t sure, <em> at all. </em></p><p> </p><p>But he had done as she had asked and taken time to truly think about it.</p><p> </p><p>He had also not wasted time thinking about it when it came to having his blood taken so that they could run paternity testing for the sake of proof. He had even made the choice to allow the clinic to give her the results ahead of even himself, for Jaiennas medical records. Plus he had signed the mock up for the verbal agreement they made, until proper legal procedures could be seen to, without blinking.</p><p> </p><p>Then he had left, going back to Lannisport to work through whatever he needed to, to make his decision. Which gave Sansa time to also work through her own thoughts and feelings on it, and speak with her family. </p><p> </p><p>It gave her the time and space she needed to come clean to her family with the entire truth and it gave her time to seek their advice about what she should do, and to ask for the support she felt she would need no matter what Jaime decided too.</p><p> </p><p>As she knew would happen, her Father was quick to point out that he’d realised who Jaiennas father had to be, if she wasn’t Joffreys, not long after she was born. He was also quick to reassure her that whatever she needed or wanted from him going forward, would be given. </p><p> </p><p>Her mother and even most of her siblings, hadn’t been quite so easily won, but Sansa had known not everyone would be. She had been prepared to argue that she could handle things when it came to Jaime. - Just not the rest of his family. And in the end they grudgingly agreed to keep out of it unless he tried to cause problems for her, for the sake of potentially protecting Jaiennas chances of a relationship with her father.</p><p> </p><p>So truthfully, there was a part of her that felt confident in introducing her baby to the man who helped create her, thanks to her own Dads endless love for her. And thanks to the protective instincts of the rest of her family.</p><p> </p><p>It also helped that Jaime had automatically owned up to having spoken with his own Father, and had advised him that he was cutting Joffrey from his life completely, and anyone who might take issue with his stand on that… Without her insistence, or even awareness, he had told his Father everything. Inadvertently convincing the powerful man to help clear up the awful lies that were told about her by their family, years ago.</p><p> </p><p>She hadn’t asked that of him because it truly didn’t matter anymore. All she had asked was that he keep his word to protect Jaienna from his family in the ways he had failed to protect her five years beforehand. Yet his having done so anyway did allow her to feel somewhat vindicated. </p><p> </p><p>To have Tywin Lannister accept the faults of <em> his family, </em>and willingly set out to correct them was something she could have never predicted, but Jaime had fought to give her that too.</p><p> </p><p>She knew it would eventually mean that the Lannister patriarch would push to meet her baby girl too. </p><p> </p><p>He’d probably want to change her name to Lannister - which he’d be waiting until long after Sansa was dead and buried to see, because she wouldn’t allow it. But she had allowed Jaime to forward the photos and videos she had shared with him to her daughter’s biological Grandfather as a small repayment for what he was willing to do for her. And eventually she supposed she’d have to let him meet her because of it all too.</p><p> </p><p>Given all of that, it didn’t really matter that she was still <em> not sure </em>how she felt about introducing Jaienna and Jaime. But she had laid out her terms, Jaime had done more than deliver on them. Sansa had given her word and honestly it’s better the devil you know! She’d have to one day be alright with introducing Jaienna to Tywin Lannister… It would be much, much easier to start with Jaime. </p><p> </p><p>Sansa led him through to the rear hall of her shop to her office, nodding in thanks to Gilly who had agreed to take over and work on her own while she introduced her daughter to her father. And if she smiled at the glare her friend levelled at the side of Jaime’s head, it was a secret smile that only Gilly had seen.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime stopped dead in his tracks before her office door. She could see the tension in his shoulders and his nervousness in the way his fingers twitched at his side.</p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t going to force him to do anything, especially not if it involved her daughter, but she also didn’t want to be stuck directly behind him while he blocked the door, and her senses were assaulted and overwhelmed by his familiar presence so close to her either.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa stepped to the side and turned to lean her back into the wall beside the doorway, giving him his moment to decide if he was ready, or brace himself, or whatever the hell he was doing, and to give herself some much needed space from his overwhelming physical presence.</p><p> </p><p>She had promised herself that she wouldn’t let him get under her skin, and that even if he tried his absolute hardest - which she honestly didn’t think he would. - She was not going to let him back in.</p><p> </p><p>Meeting and getting to know Jaienna was one thing. One thing that was more about what was good for her daughter, than what he wanted. It was already asking too much that she be civil with him for that. She couldn’t let him affect her as he had always done. </p><p> </p><p>Not even with how touched she was over his nervous energy, in that moment. </p><p> </p><p>“Does she know I’m coming, or who I am?” His voice cracked over the words. </p><p> </p><p>He knew that she hadn’t told her that <em> he </em> was her Father. He knew that she had only mentioned to her daughter that she actually <em> had a father. </em> He also knew that it had been their combined plan that he meet her as just <em> Jaime, </em>someone her Mama knew from a long time ago. Until the time was right, so that they didn’t overwhelm her.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa cocked her brow at him in wordless answer, trying to remind him of those exact conversations without haven’t to say it, as he finally looked over at her.</p><p> </p><p>“Right.” He huffed and rubbed his hands on his designer jeans like a prepubescent boy would when meeting a pretty girl. “Right! I’m ready. And you’ve said she’ll be alright with it. And you’re sure, you’ve said that too.”</p><p> </p><p>“Jaime?” She interrupted his rambling. “Open the door.”</p><p> </p><p>She watched quietly as he nodded and swallowed hard, and then straightened and opened the door slowly, only to freeze again and stutter out a shuddering breath as eyes that were a perfect match for his own, shot up to meet his.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello. Are you looking for my Mama? Dis’ hers office, but she’s not in here.” Her daughter greeted this complete stranger at her office door as if it was entirely normal for him to be there <em> and </em>entirely acceptable behaviour. “My names Jaienna, you say it like Jay - Enna. What’s your name?”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa rolled her eyes at her chatty daughters propensity to talk to anyone, and ducked around in front of him to enter her office first. She cocked a brow in a way that she hoped told Jaienna she had heard her not minding her stranger danger lessons, earning herself an impish and not-at-all-sorry grin for her attempts to be stern.</p><p> </p><p>“Come in.” Sansa ordered over her shoulder as she lowered herself to the floor where her happy little lady was playing. “Jaienna, this man is someone I’ve known for a long time. His name is Jaime and he wanted to meet you, and maybe be your friend, is that alright?”</p><p> </p><p>She waited silently while her daughter scrutinised the man who had yet to move away from the still opened door, as if he was the single most interesting thing she had ever seen.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t completely unexpected - for Sansa at least, even if Jaime was put on edge by it. She knew her daughter, the bright little lady didn’t miss much. Also unlike Jaime, Sansa knew that her daughter hadn’t ever been introduced to someone in such a manner, because all the people in her life that Sansa could claim to have known for a long time, had always been in Jaiennas life. So her fascinated and curious staring wasn’t all that strange.</p><p> </p><p>“Jaime.” Her darling girl grinned up at him finally. “You have a J-name too. Mama doesn’t, she has a Sansa-name.” Sansa smiled at her happy exclamation, and felt almost relieved to see Jaimes rigid stance loosen up just a touch, out of the corner of her eye. “Want to read me my unicorn book? ‘Dat would make it okay for you to be my friend.”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa bit her lip against a laugh and looked up at the man still standing behind her. Challenging him to deny such an adorable request.</p><p> </p><p>The smile on his face told her all she needed to know.</p><p> </p><p>Now that she’d had time to process the fight they’d had, and the words they’d thrown at each other on that very first day, she had come to realise that maybe he was right and he could love Jaienna instantly. Simply by knowing she was his child, in the same way Sansa had come to love her instantly upon laying eyes on her tiny brand new form.</p><p> </p><p>And while she couldn’t trust that he had ever really loved her like he still claimed, she could see clearly that he loved her daughter.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> His daughter. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I <em> love </em>unicorns.” </p><p> </p><p>He offered dramatically and finally stepped into the room, making her baby laugh like a tiny, adorable hyena, and charge towards him with her book tucked under her arm and an expectant look on her pretty little face.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa could only hope that the clear love he felt would be enough to keep him from breaking her child as he did her.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>—————</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The first day Jaime spent with Jaienna had felt a little surreal.</p><p> </p><p>He had been as nervous facing that tiny girl, as he had been at age fifteen, when he’d had to face the wrath of Tywin Lannister after crashing his vintage Mercedes into the rock wall of the old lions gate at Casterly Rock.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t even old enough to drive, and he’d taken his Fathers favourite car and totalled it.</p><p> </p><p>That day he’d been on the receiving end of a hide so blistered he couldn’t stand up without wincing, let alone sit down.</p><p> </p><p>And yet <em> that </em> still would not have been as painful as it would have been if his daughter had not wanted to talk to him at all.</p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t needed to be so worried though. As she requested he had sat and read her unicorn book to her, and before he’d even opened the damned thing, she was in his lap, grinning up at him as if she’d just challenged him, to some elaborate competition that only she knew about.</p><p> </p><p>She was so much a Lannister, that it almost hurt him to look at her. But she was too beautiful for him to be able to look away either.</p><p> </p><p>So Jaime sat and he read - a pastime that had never been his favourite - and just like that, they were friends.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The second time he visited, she shrieked his name and jumped up and down on the sofa in Sansas office until he sat down beside her as she had ordered him to do.</p><p> </p><p>By the end of the visit, she had interrogated him as to why he didn’t have <em> ‘a work’ </em>to go to. And upon discovering he was actually on a bit of a break from his job, so that he could be in Winterfell to visit, she had promptly ordered him back the very next day to play tea parties in the kids corner of ‘Little Blue Jai’s Books’.</p><p> </p><p>And so it went.</p><p> </p><p>Two visits, became three, then three became a week. And a week turned into two weeks… Until his daughter had come to expect his presence by lunchtime at the shop every day, and if he was late at all, she’d bug Sansa to check to see if he was coming.</p><p> </p><p>After the first growled warning from his ex, he was not late again.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime suspected he was about to be on the receiving end of a second growled warning, if the icy glare Sansa levelled at him when he walked in the door was any indication. Though he certainly had no idea what he could have done to earn it.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime had willingly gone out of his way to give in to his tiny, bossy daughters every command. But to also check with Sansa that it was okay if he did, first. And although he hadn’t wanted to, he had given Sansa her space, and not tried to push himself anymore on <em> her </em>than he had to, to satisfy Jaienna.</p><p> </p><p>It hadn’t been easy, even with her cold indifference to him.</p><p> </p><p>He still loved her every bit as much as he had when they were together. - Even more so, given how she loved the child he had left her with.</p><p> </p><p>Seeing her every day was rather painful for him, but he weathered that pain to be able to see her every day, and to be able to know the amazing little girl she had raised his daughter to be without him.</p><p> </p><p>“We need to talk.” She advised as he removed his scarf and coat to hang on the rack by the door.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime watched as she rounded the counter and searched quickly for their daughter’s blonde head, which was thankfully bouncing amongst the pillows in her corner with another child, and unaware of his arrival, before turning her glare back to him.</p><p> </p><p>He cocked a brow in amusement, and a little in concern too when she planted a dainty hand to the middle of his chest and shoved him behind a shelf of books, so his Little Jai wouldn’t see him yet.</p><p> </p><p>“Book stacks - a bit juvenile for an <em> assignation </em>between people our ages Sansa, but I’m game.”</p><p> </p><p>He could have bitten his tongue clean off for the way it ran away from him, and thanks to the look of utter disgust and fury on her gorgeous face. He knew the moment he started talking, that he’d really fucked up. But he hadn’t been able to stop his lizard brain after feeling her hands on his body.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime swallowed hard and looked ahead, over her shoulder and away from those terrifying eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“That should not have been said out loud.”</p><p> </p><p>“It should not have been in your head to have the chance to be verbalised.” She snarled dangerously. </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t.” She warned before he could say the words that formed on his lips. “I wanted to talk to you, to advise you that she is getting really attached, and I need <em> your word, </em> for whatever it’s worth, that you’ll not abandon her once she is fully invested… To advise you to <em> go now </em>if you are going to break her heart… But then you-“ She half groaned, half growled out the most pained sound, waving at him as if he was the single most despicable thing she had ever seen. Then she levelled him all over again with her now watery, raging eyes. “You can’t do that. Don’t do that to me… You are here for her and only her... I wanted to say that if you can’t be sure that it’s forever, then you need to leave before you break her like you already did me. That’s all.”</p><p> </p><p>And then she was gone in a swirl of fiery hair and furious shaking. And Jaime felt like he’d been sucker punched with a metal fist.</p><p> </p><p>“Little Jai, Big Jais here to see you.” She called as she went, sounding annoyingly chipper after the emotion she had hit him with. It was false of course, but still irritating for him all the same.</p><p> </p><p>And then he was sucker punched again, this time by the other little woman he loved, when she came running for him and calling out in greeting.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Daddy!”  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>——————</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Sansa gasped and swung around to follow her daughters shrieking trajectory as she ran as fast as her legs could carry her, to throw herself at her <em> Daddy </em>for a desperate giggling hug.</p><p> </p><p>The kind of hug that was usually reserved for her, when she’d been away from her for any length of time. And for <em> her </em>Dad. - Grandpa Ned, who had always been second only to her in her daughter's heart.</p><p> </p><p>Surprisingly, it didn’t hurt her as much as she expected it to, when Jaime dropped enough to catch her up into a tight, needy hug, just as she would have done.</p><p> </p><p>It hadn’t hurt <em> as much </em>as she expected, but it still ripped the rug clean out from under her.</p><p> </p><p>What she had called him, and the way he had welcomed her in return with such a loving embrace.</p><p> </p><p>As she watched them she couldn’t stop the heavy thuds of her heart, that seemed intent on spreading warmth and happiness, <em> and love, </em>throughout her entire body, to see how much genuine affection was between the two of them.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime widened his eyes over Jaiennas shoulder, and around her fluffy curls, right at Sansa. - As if <em> she </em>was somehow responsible for her daughters happy and very unexpected greeting.</p><p> </p><p>She wanted to hate it, just as she wanted to hate <em> him. </em></p><p> </p><p>She wanted to be heartbroken at being forced to share the roles that had always been hers alone.</p><p> </p><p>She wanted him to be heartbroken at never having what she did with their daughter.</p><p> </p><p>But seeing how happy her baby was as she pulled back and gripped Jaime’s face to make him look at her, and so she could kiss his nose, destroyed any hope she had of maintaining any hate or even potential irritation over any of it.</p><p> </p><p>It’s not like it wasn’t true.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime Lannister was her Daddy.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa just hadn’t expected her four year old daughter to work it out for herself and call him that without at least some clarification on the matter first.</p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t do anything but nod when he looked to her again, for permission or to intervene or to offer something that might help him navigate this new situation. All she could give in that moment was permission to follow wherever Jaienna wanted to lead.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi Baby.” He breathed out, obviously overcome with emotion.</p><p> </p><p>Those words hit her even harder than when he’d attempted to flirt with her behind the shelves just moments beforehand.</p><p> </p><p>Those words dropped into the room and her mind like a rock. Causing her breathing to hitch in a way that made her chest ache.</p><p> </p><p><em> That </em> was how he’d greet <em> her </em> once upon a time. Once upon a time, she’d been his <em> ‘baby’ </em> - the meaning was different of course, but it still rocked her to her core to hear him say that.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa turned away so that she could get control over her own emotions, before she lost it completely.</p><p> </p><p>She had been on the brink before Jaime even arrived, thanks to how much Jaienna had gone on about seeing ‘<em> My Big Jai’ </em> again… Sansa had panicked and had needed to make sure he knew that he was getting close to really tipping the scales of his significance in her daughter’s life.</p><p> </p><p>She had no idea that the horse had already well and truly bolted.</p><p> </p><p>Jaienna had never called him anything so possessive until that morning, and now Sansa understood why she had. Though she was still struggling to understand <em> how </em>she had worked it out, she apparently had.</p><p> </p><p>But then Jaime had said the things he had to her, showing her a vicious and cruel reminder of the cheeky, sexy, teasing man that he had once been for her. And he had really hurt her in the process.</p><p> </p><p>She had needed him to go away, and visit with their daughter as he was supposed to, so that she had time to calm herself down again.</p><p> </p><p>And now she was aching, and drowning.</p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t breathe.</p><p> </p><p>Because her whole heart belonged to the girl who was so very happy to claim her <em> Daddy. </em>Who just so happened to be the same man who had ripped that same heart to shreds before Jaienna was even born and able to heal it anew.</p><p> </p><p>And in seeing how her daughter had run for her <em> ‘Daddy’ </em> , Sansa realised that her whole heart belonged to Jaienna, because she was her <em> Daddy’s girl… </em>Because she wasn’t just Sansas daughter, but a living reminder of the man Sansa had loved so very completely.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa dropped herself down on the floor behind the counter, tucking her knees to her chest and letting the sounds of the two of them talking quietly just the other side of it, wash over her.</p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t up to being involved in the conversation, or even turning her mind to work. But she didn’t want either of them to see her acting so selfishly when this moment was about them and what they had found in each other.</p><p> </p><p>Thankfully Gilly and her son Sam had the shop under control, and seemed to have understood that she wanted to be left alone in her pain, and also that Jaime and Jaienna should be left alone to have the moment they were having.</p><p> </p><p>But none of it helped the pain in her chest, as she came to the realisation that it wasn’t <em> just </em>Jaienna who had fallen in love with her Daddy.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa had fallen in love with the man all over again too, despite her best efforts to not do exactly that.</p><p> </p><p>With that little kiss on the nose from Jaienna, and those words of greeting from Jaime’s mouth, she was right back there with him, when she thought that they were happy… Before he claimed it was <em> for the best, </em>that she leave and not come back.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> “What are you doing?”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She hissed and giggled as he grinned and stole a quick kiss before continuing to shuffle her into the darkened corner of the garden behind where they’d been walking. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Stealing a moment alone with my Baby. This party is dreadfully boring, but you are stunning in this dress. So much so that I can’t wait until we can be together later. I want you now.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Sansa giggled and wiggled as his hands slipped inside of her gown and around to cup her breasts easily, thanks to the fact that her entire back was exposed. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Jaime, anyone could look out those doors and see us.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “No they couldn’t.” He nibbled at her shoulder and rubbed himself against her backside. “I checked before I followed you out here, so I’d know where best we could fuck and watch them, but they’d never know what we were doing.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Jaime.”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She whined breathlessly and wiggled again as his fingers rubbed their way down her belly and into her panties and folds, while the other hand continued to massage her breasts. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “We can see Joff holding court like the pompous little shithead he is.” He chuckled dangerously. “Lift your dress Sansa. Let me claim what’s mine while he wonders where you’ve gotten to.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> They were done and straightened and back inside in under fifteen minutes. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The intensity of watching the party carry on while they made love in the shadows, and the risk of getting caught, had heightened every single stroke of him inside her, throwing them over the edge into their mutual bliss faster and more powerfully than it ever had before. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> They left no trace of each other on their outward appearances, even with her panties being soaked in both of the spendings and shoved in Jaime’s pocket like a trophy. To look at them, it would seem as if they had been doing no more than taking in the beauty of the gardens on a stroll together. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Jaime had even told Joff that’s exactly what they were doing, but he didn’t care. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She had been absent from his side too long, and he’d had too much to drink. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Joffrey loudly proclaimed that she had obviously been fucking someone in some side room - probably </em> <b> <em>another</em> </b> <em> married man who would pay her silence with a leg up in the world of business, unless she had come across </em> <b> <em>another</em> </b> <em> of her professors there somewhere first. And that obviously Jaime had come across her sneaking her way back around through the gardens and become her unknowing accomplice. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> By the time his tirade was done, the whole room was silent, Jaime included. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> The whole room had been shocked and disbelieving. </em> <b> <em>Not</em> </b> <em> of his words and his claims against her though, only that he’d aired them so publicly. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> At the time she had felt vindicated by the rage flashing in her lovers eyes, while he stared in disgust at his nephew. But none of it had mattered, the damage was already done.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And Joffrey wasn’t even close to being finished. For him, that drunken tirade in front of everyone was just the beginning. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Sansa hadn’t known it at the time, but it was that moment that signified the end of her and Jaime. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> That was the last time she had felt like Jaime </em> <b> <em>loved </em> </b> <em> her. And it was over in a blink. </em></p><p>
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</p><p>“Hey.” </p><p> </p><p>Sansa looked up in surprise, and followed his strong, familiar form with her eyes as he lowered himself down beside her on the floor behind the front counter.</p><p> </p><p>“She… Ah.” He huffed a laugh and waved towards the corner of the store that she had decked out into a children’s play area. “She’s playing with the other kid - I asked her to let me talk to you for a few minutes.”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa swallowed hard and nodded, lifting her shaking hands up to brush and rub at her tear drenched face.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t tell her.” She snorted a wet laugh and leaned her head back so that she could look at the ceiling, rather than at him. “I don’t know how she figured it out. But-“ she cleared her throat uncomfortably and shrugged. “She knows now, whether we were ready for her to or not.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry that it upset you, I don’t want any of this to hurt you.” He whispered. “I can’t stand to see you so heartbroken… I never could.”</p><p> </p><p>“And yet you’re the one who has hurt me the most out of everyone.” She scoffed and shook her head. “I’m not <em> heartbroken </em> because I have to share my daughter with her father now. I can accept that because of how obviously she loves you already… I love that girl so much that I <em> want her </em>to be able to love and be loved by you.”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa breathed deeply and tipped her head down again to stare at her hands where she had tucked them between her body and her knees instead, as her tears started all over again.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just <em> heartbroken.” </em> She whispered. Ignoring his sharp inhale and the hand that hovered beside her for a beat before dropping away without touching her. “And I’m scared - <em> terrified! - </em> She loves so fiercely, Jaime. She’s been putting me back together, restoring my ability to love and be loved, for her whole life. I don’t want her to ever find out how much it hurts to know that sort of heartbreak herself… I won’t ever be the one to do it to her… So I can and <em> will </em> accept that she loves you that much now.” She paused to breathe her way through the pain in her chest slowly. “I just need a minute to wallow in my self pity, so that I can process and accept it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sansa.”</p><p> </p><p>She shook her head and slammed her eyes closed.</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t want his pity.</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t want him anywhere near her in that moment.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Baby-“ </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>“Please don’t.” </em>She sobbed. “Please, just don’t do that. Don’t act like you care about me too. You can love her without needing to appease me.”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa pushed herself up and turned away, scrubbing at her face while Jaime stayed exactly where he was.</p><p> </p><p>“And what if I can’t not love you, like I can’t not love her? What if I <em> never stopped </em> loving you at all, and I’ve only fallen harder since being back around you again, and because of how you love <em> our daughter.” </em></p><p> </p><p>Sansa paused in her attempt to walk away, and steadied herself as best she could, with slow, deep breaths.</p><p> </p><p>It was cruel.</p><p> </p><p>But she had to, else she’d risk him hurting her all over again, and she’d potentially risk him doing the same to her baby girl.</p><p> </p><p>“Then I guess you're about to learn how it feels to have the one you love walk away, without looking back.”</p><p>
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</p><p>——————</p><p>
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</p><p>“Daddy, did you and Mama fight?”</p><p> </p><p>Jaime blinked back to himself as his curious and far too bright daughter jumped knees first onto the massive cushion he was lazing into, and gave her what he hoped was at least a passable false smile, as she shuffled herself closer and gripped his cheeks in her hands to get his full attention.</p><p> </p><p>They were in the kids corner of the bookstore, and as he had done for the last three days, Jaime had positioned himself so that he was facing the hall door that led down to Sansas office. He was stupidly hoping she’d emerge so that he could at least see if she was alright.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa hadn’t spoken to him for three days. He hadn’t seen her at all in that time. Since they had that confrontation and she walked away from him, any and all communication between them was funnelled through Gilly, the little brunette woman who worked for Sansa.</p><p> </p><p>Gilly was even the one who ‘supervised’ his visits with Jaienna now. He hadn’t said anything about it of course, but Sansa had been conspicuously absent whenever he was around.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime wanted to talk to her. He wanted to clear the air between them properly. He wanted everything out and on the table. Except that he knew she needed space and he couldn’t bring himself to deny her that, or to push her again so soon.</p><p> </p><p>“No Jaienna. We just had a little moment where we talked about things that made us both sad. Now Mama needs some time without seeing me, so she can think and get past being sad, that is all.” He tried to explain.</p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t lied to her, he and Sansa hadn’t necessarily fought. What had happened was that Jaime finally learned the true depth of pain he had caused her years ago, he was made aware that it hadn’t really ever left her. And he come to see that his presence was ripping it to the surface for her. Knowing that, hurt him even more than the cruel words she had thrown at him as she walked away… And those words damned near shredded his heart inside of his chest.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime had also come to realise that she still loved him too, but she was so terrified of it that she felt the need to make him feel the pain that he had caused her in return for trying to make her understand that he had always loved her and still did. </p><p> </p><p>She still loved him because if she didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to hurt her so much.</p><p> </p><p>It was messy and awful and it had been devastatingly heart wrenching in the moment. But given time to settle himself and think, he realised that there was a small spark of hope hidden underneath the rubble. He just needed to keep working at showing her that though he’d made mistakes, he was ready and willing to do whatever he had to, to put in the time and effort, to see them into a better place with each other.</p><p> </p><p>Her words had hurt him, there was no way around it, or reason to deny it. But he had deserved it too.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime wasn’t a patient man in nature, but he’d learn how to be, if there was a chance that he could have her back. He’d do anything at this point, to be worthy of claiming she and Jaienna both as the family they should have always been.</p><p> </p><p>“Mama askeded how I knew you were ‘Daddy’. Is dat why she’s sad?” His little lioness asked shyly, dropping her hands from his face and tucking herself into his shoulder as if it was completely natural to seek his comfort, when he’d only been around for such a small window of her life.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime sighed heavily and made room for her to get comfortable against him, again as if it wasn’t a new thing, but something they’d been doing for her entire life. </p><p> </p><p>He wished it was.</p><p> </p><p>He wished he had been there all along.</p><p> </p><p>“No little one. She’s happy that you know because it made you happy.” He smiled down at her and even booped her tiny nose, making her scrunch it, just like her mother always does. “How <em> did </em> you know that Jaienna?”</p><p> </p><p>“Grandma said it to Auntie Ya. She said your name and ‘dat she hoped ‘dat Mama made sure I was ready to know you are my Dad, ‘afore she tells me.” She shrugged and grinned a little impishly up at him. “Mama talked about me having a Daddy ‘afore she bringed you to visit me too... You like me knowing don’t you Daddy?”</p><p> </p><p>Jaime laughed and bent low enough to kiss her forehead and take in her sweet scent a little too. “I’m happy that you know and I’m happy that I am your Daddy too.” He admitted to her quietly. “But you shouldn’t listen to other people’s conversations.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.” She sighed dramatically. “Mama said ‘dat too.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaime hummed in amusement and snuggled back down with her, reaching out to snag one of the books from the little shelf beside him. He turned it over to show her and smiled invitingly, hoping that she was ready to settle in and read a story with him, or maybe even play some more before he’d have to go for the day.</p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t claim to be an expert on small children, but he did understand that it wasn’t fair to expect them to go into greater depths with serious topics than he and Jaienna already had. She had asked her questions and he’d answered as best he could, in a way she could understand. Now it was time to move beyond such things again.</p><p>
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</p><p>A week later Jaime’s patience appeared to have paid off, at least on the surface.</p><p> </p><p>For the first time since she had <em> walked away without looking back, </em>Sansa was waiting for him to enter her store when he came by. Jaime had been elated and horrendously nervous when he saw her beautiful form hovering by the front window as if she was watching for him.</p><p> </p><p>She had been.</p><p> </p><p>But it wasn’t quite the way he had hoped it to be.</p><p> </p><p>One look at her serious face and he knew that she hadn’t come around to talking to him - or even letting him <em> see her, </em>because she’d wanted to.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong?” He asked as he pushed the door closed against the freezing cold bite of the air outside. </p><p> </p><p>He moved close enough so that she wouldn’t need to speak above a whisper and risk them being overheard by an excited little girl, momentarily suspending <em> everything else </em>in lieu of the concern that was building inside of him because of her relief at his presence.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime knew she wasn’t truly relieved to see him for him, so that they could work through their issues in any way. So he knew it had to be because she <em> needed </em>him to deal with something for her in some way.</p><p> </p><p>“Joffrey called me... The shop, he called here.” </p><p> </p><p>She hissed frustratedly and directed him as he froze, to finish removing his coat and scarf before she led him around behind the shelves so they could slip down the hall to her office to speak privately, without Jaienna seeing him first and stopping all talking until after he’d greeted her, at least. </p><p> </p><p>“He called you?” He needed clarification before he lost the very tentative grip he had on his temper. “What did he say?”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa pushed him into her office and closed the door before stepping quickly around him and pacing away from him. Her tall form tense and tight, reminding him quite a bit of an agitated animal stuck in a cage. She swung around to face him and stepped as close to him as she had been the day that everything changed between them, as she snarled at him in between the shelves out front in the store.</p><p> </p><p>“I recorded it.” She huffed and shook her head as if trying to make sense of something that made no sense at all. “And yes I know it’s illegal to record someone without their knowledge, bu-“</p><p> </p><p>“Sansa!” He growled dangerously. “I don’t give a fuck about any legal technicalities right now. <em> What did he say to you?” </em></p><p> </p><p>Jaime wasn’t even sure it mattered what his prick nephew said. It didn’t matter to <em> him </em> at all, he was ready to rip his head clean off just for the fact that his actions inadvertently interfered with the time and space he was trying to give Sansa so that they could hopefully move forward with working out their issues when she was in a better place emotionally. But it might just matter in regards to justifying his killing the little bastard, to his Father.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa bit her plump bottom lip and studied his face intently, likely looking for something in his reaction that she could trust.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve been getting prank calls for a few weeks.” She whispered. “Hang ups mostly. At least that’s how it started, and I didn’t think anything of it in truth, but then I started getting some that included a whispered slur or taunt before cutting out. So I started recording all calls just in case, and having Gilly do the same. Any that were normal business I stopped recording immediately and deleted-“</p><p> </p><p>“I really don-“</p><p> </p><p>“I know!” She exploded at him with a harsh whisper. “You don’t care about me illegally recording people! Just let me finish alright?” </p><p> </p><p>Jaime gave a jerky nod and held his ground as she stepped closer still, almost entirely in his space, leaving only a sliver of air between both of their panting chests.</p><p> </p><p>“I listened back to all of those calls. The calls that were just like one word or one sentence, insults and curses and such. None of them were him, so I thought maybe it was just that - <em> prank calls. </em> But this morning it was him and he said that the calls were just the beginning, but I could stop them and everything else that he had planned if I come clean and admitted that I lied to you about my <em> mongrel brat </em>being a Lannister.” Jaime snarled dangerously at what his nephew supposedly had the gall to call his baby. “He ranted about how I’m a slut who somehow seduced you into claiming her as yours by making you believe she was his, and in doing so turned you against him. Apparently I don’t know who the father is and I’ve concocted some elaborate plan to get my hands on Lannister money, because she conveniently looks just enough like a Lannister to lend credence to the idea that she is his.” She rolled her eyes dramatically and shook her head. “It was all very convoluted to be honest, but I needed you to know, so you can… decide how you want to react.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaime reacted without thinking as she shrunk in more and more in on herself as she recounted every ludicrous thing that his nephew had spewed at her. He reached out and gripped her arms, tugging gently until she gave in and let him hug her to himself.</p><p> </p><p>If he had been thinking, perhaps he’d have had concerns that it might look like he was taking advantage of her, because she’d come to him with her concerns and was clearly not in a stable emotional place. But he hadn’t been thinking, nor was he himself in a stable emotional place.</p><p> </p><p>“My reaction depends on what you want Sansa. How you want to answer him, and what you think is best for Jaienna too.” He whispered, letting himself lean into her and savour the feel of her in his arms for as long as he could before she inevitably pulled away from him. “If left up to me, it’s entirely likely I’ll make my way South and beat the ever loving snot out of him and cause all sorts of drama… So I’m afraid the decision falls upon your shoulders, my darling. If you want me to make it go away quietly, I’ll call my Father and see it done. But if you want to fight back, I’ve already sworn I’ll go public with everything should he step out of line, so we will have my Fathers support, if you wish to do that instead.”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa pulled back just enough to meet his eye. Staying in his arms rather than pulling away completely, and even lifting her hands to rest on his chest, much to his delight.</p><p> </p><p>“You’d do that?” She asked skeptically.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime didn’t hesitate in his answer, nodding his head deftly while holding her eyes so that she could see the truth of it for herself.</p><p> </p><p>“I should have done so a long time ago.” He let out a stuttering breath and lifted his hand nervously from where it rested loosely on her back to her cheek, gently letting his fingertips come to rest on her soft skin. “I should have done a lot of things a long time ago.” He smiled sadly and let his hand fall to her shoulder so it would feel at least a little less frightening for her. “I’ve been trying to make up for them since the day my brother walked into my office with your name on his lips and my daughters photo in his hand. I know some things can never be undone or even forgiven to a point, but I am trying Sansa. And not just for Jai.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaime lifted his other hand to rest on her other shoulder too and pushed just enough to have her understand that he meant to step away from her person, without losing all physical contact and the closeness it allowed emotionally too. She was studying him in the same intense way that their girl had done the day they’d met, as if she was staring right into his soul.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t want to hope that her staring meant anything for them necessarily, but he was prepared to show and keep on showing her that what he’d said was true. To do that, he needed to show that he respected her boundaries physically, even though it pained him to give her that distance too.</p><p> </p><p>“The choice is yours. But you need to make it.” He finished.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t just talking about what they were going to do about Joffreys latest stupidities. But neither of them were really ready for her to make a well thought out decision about <em> them </em>yet. Especially when whatever happened between them directly affected their baby girl.</p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>——————</p><p>
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</p><p>“What do you want, Joffrey?” </p><p> </p><p>Just as she had predicted he would, Joffrey had called again a few short days after the first time.</p><p> </p><p>She had appreciated Jaime’s promise to deal with him any way that she saw fit, and thanks to the determination in his eyes that said he was really going to support her and protect Jaienna in whatever she decided, she had built the confidence in herself to do things her way.</p><p> </p><p>So she had let her lying shit of an ex stew and question why she hadn’t called the police on him, or why he hadn’t heard from an irate Uncle yet. And waited for him to call again.</p><p> </p><p>Ultimately, she knew that doing the right thing via the proper channels like reporting his calls and threats and then pressing charges where possible, would go nowhere. Just as she knew that she and Jaime, taking the truth of what happened all those years ago public, would find too much scrutiny thanks to it being their word against his.</p><p> </p><p>That was why she had done as she had and waited for his next call.</p><p> </p><p>“I want you to do what I told you to do. I knew you were a stupid bitch, but I did make it rather plain what I expected from you.” </p><p> </p><p>Sansa smiled slightly at Jaime as he bared his teeth silently on the other side of her office, but thankfully held his tongue as she had made him promise to do if she agreed to let him listen in <em> and </em>patch his Father in by calling him from his phone and placing it on her desk so that he could hear her conversation.</p><p> </p><p>Joffrey was too stupid to even realise or question why she had him on loud speaker.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, refresh my mind again?” She requested with no small amount of amusement lacing her voice, knowing that it would piss him off to have her speak back to him.</p><p> </p><p>“Seriously? Fuck you are a stupid bitch! Come clean! Tell Uncle Jaime that that brat of yours is some random guys kid like we both know it is.” He shrieked making her wince at the sound while simultaneously holding in the snort that wanted to escape her.</p><p> </p><p>“Well which is it? Come clean, or tell Jaime what you want him to believe?” She snarked. “Do I lie and tell him that I’ve somehow become some sort of mastermind who can falsify DNA testing that proves <em>his</em> paternity… Or do I <em>come</em> <em>clean - </em>come forward and speak about how you and I were over long before you made up all those horrible lies about me?”</p><p> </p><p>Joffrey scoffed but she cut him off from replying, speaking again before he had the chance to get his words out of his disgusting wormy lips.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, I was seeing Jaime at the time and technically you hadn’t accepted that we were completely over, so in your head that probably equates to me having cheated on you… Except that I was <em> only </em> with Jaime by then. I certainly wasn’t with any professors or married businessmen… Gods, I wasn’t with anyone <em> but you </em> until I felt we were over and then I was with <em> him… </em> There hasn’t even been anyone since him… But I suppose that doesn’t matter to you anymore than the DNA evidence that makes my child a Lannister by blood, does it?”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa knew she only had to bait him just enough to get him to do as she needed and lose his temper fully. Joffrey was a good actor, she would give him that. He could sell himself as being charming and even sweet when he wanted to. He could sell himself as a true gentleman and a bit of a romantic too. But it was all an act, one that he could only maintain so long as the situation that called for it, was going in his favour.</p><p> </p><p>This conversation was not going in his favour, and it was only a matter of time before she pushed the exact right button that would have the true Joffrey surfacing, more so than he was already. With the right provocation the self absorbed fool who just couldn’t seem to stop insulting her, his own uncle and their innocent child, would clear up all past claims of her supposed inappropriate behaviour without her having to make the claim herself.</p><p> </p><p>“As if I’d be stupid enough to believe that you really had that test done! You’re so pathetic! You probably didn’t even sleep with Uncle Jaime until he agreed to take responsibility for your brat. If you made him believe that mongrel was mine he’d have done it to protect the family. He’s not smart enough to just either take the kid or call you out of your bullsh-“</p><p> </p><p>“Copies of the results have been verified and sent to your Grandfather, and for the sake of protecting my child from your vitriol, they were sent to your Father also. Check with either of them if you wish, I don’t care.” </p><p> </p><p>Sansa drew herself up in her seat and smiled tightly at the still devastatingly handsome, but obviously raging man pacing and glaring at anything and everything, he could lay his eyes on around her office. </p><p> </p><p>In that moment it was quite difficult to continue denying the intense attraction she still felt for him. In that moment it was difficult to maintain her beliefs that he had never been the man she thought he was, and that he had only ever seen her as some sort of <em> fun challenge, </em>instead of the woman he loved as she had loved him.</p><p> </p><p>She had fallen for him again so quickly and she had hated herself for it. </p><p> </p><p>Of course, she knew she couldn’t go back on her promises to allow him to get to know Jaienna, and she absolutely would not take him away from her daughter now that she was so attached either, but she had honestly felt that she didn’t need to be the one to interact with him directly for that either, and it was best that she wasn’t. Gilly had taken on the role of communicator between them with nothing more than a sad smile and a nod. </p><p> </p><p>But that was the truth of it.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa had fallen in love with him without even blinking, and for both of their sakes and Jaiennas, she honestly believed that she needed to step back until it went away again so that they could be at least somewhat cordial in their co-parenting relationship. </p><p> </p><p>But then she had needed his help to deal with Joffrey, and they were thrown together in a way that didn’t give them the opportunity to verbally agree that things <em> could not </em>build between them. </p><p> </p><p>And now she was wondering <em> why </em>she couldn’t at least think of letting whatever might happen, happen.</p><p> </p><p>As she watched Jaime react so emotionally to being exposed to a <em> true </em> interaction between herself and Joffrey, plus the insulting way he kept referring to the daughter that Jaime had fallen at the feet of since that first day he’d laid eyes on her, she couldn’t help but question her own convictions that they’d never seek more from each other than their previous polite indifference.</p><p> </p><p>“You are really going to try to push this agenda of yours aren’t you? Sending fake tests and shit, to my Grandfather and Father… Sansa-“ Joffrey sighed heavily, really drawing out his performance: <em> ‘the disappointed ex-boyfriend who was genuinely trying to stop her from making dangerous mistakes, by making threats.’ </em>Before he continued. “- I wasn’t playing around with what I said I’d do if you kept this silly game up. If you really sent fake shit to my Father and Grandfather, I’m going to be forced to ask them to let me handle you… Which will make things worse for you.”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa groaned and even let her head fall back onto her shoulders for a beat. </p><p> </p><p>Talking to Joffrey was exhausting - something she had learned a long time ago. But trying to make him see that not everything was about him, was like hitting bricks and expecting that they’d crumble while your hand remained unhurt.</p><p> </p><p>She needed to end the charade now.</p><p> </p><p>“Joffrey, why can’t you leave me alone? - What is happening or not happening between Jaime and I is none of your concern. Last I checked it’s been over five years since we broke up and I <em> know </em> Jaime privately disowned you. So why is it that you feel like you need to get involved in the two of us reconnecting for the sake of our child? It clearly has nothing to do with <em> you.” </em></p><p> </p><p>She didn’t have to wait long at all for his reaction, Joffrey scoffed and blustered and sputtered the same way he would have if she’d said that the world they lived in revolved around the sun, not him.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s you that has some weird fixation on me you fucking slut! This bullshit you’ve made up is all just pay back because I broke up with you and you couldn’t get your hands on my money-“</p><p> </p><p>“Your money?” She interrupted with a harsh laugh. “Joffrey, you don’t have any money. You've never worked a day in your life to have <em> earned </em> your own money. You have a trust fund, yes. As do I… But mine is augmented by the income made by the small business that I created and built and now run, on my own. I don’t need <em> your money, </em> and for the sake of clarity I’ll also point out that I don’t need your Grandfathers money, and your Father - well he’d have been bankrupt numerous times if not for your Grandfather bailing him out over and over again, - So I certainly don’t need his. As for me being what: <em> Vengeful </em> over you breaking up with me? Let’s remember that I stopped having any interest in you long before you decided to humiliate me the way you did.” She snarled dangerously. “My only concerns for the last five years have been my daughters health, safety and happiness, and my determination to create a life for her and I that would mean I could support us on my own meaning I’d <em> never </em> need anyone to pay our way... I don’t have the time to care about you, and I certainly don’t have the inclination to do so… Now if we are done with your ridiculous threats and petulant tantrums, I have a business to run.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re dead… that fucking bastard kid of yours too! You fucking idiot! You should have learned when I ruined your reputation, that I won’t sit back while you insult me. You thought that you could choose to leave me and I made sure you paid for that when <em> I </em>decided that we were done… Don’t think I won’t make you pay for all the shit you just said.” His horrid screams fell heavily into the quiet of her office.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa smirked at Jaime, slightly amused by the surprise now warring with the full blown rage on his face, over just how much he had underestimated both her plan to have Joffrey admit everything and the degree of violent hate she could draw out of his nephew without even really trying. </p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t concerned about the death threats. They pissed her off of course, especially the one against her baby. But Sansa knew Joffrey well enough to know that <em> that </em>was an empty threat. It wasn’t exactly the first time he’d said something like that to her.</p><p> </p><p>Besides, it only added to the evidence she now had against him, and helped to seal his fate.</p><p> </p><p>“If Uncle Jaime is stupid enough to believe you, because he wants to fuck a cold fish like you for the rest of his life, that’s on him… In fact that’s even better, because My Grandfather will see the truth and disown him, giving my mother a bigger slice of The Lannister fortune when the old man dies.”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa hummed quietly to herself as he continued to rant and rave, making even more horrid claims about her that once would have destroyed her self confidence. Making even more disparaging remarks about Jaime being a fool for thinking ‘<em> her frigid, dry cunt was worth his time.’ </em>Making even more vicious threats about destroying them both and harming their child as well, and even expounding on the upside that Tywin Lannister and Robert Baratheon both would side with him when everything came out in the wash.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually she tired of both the sound of his high pitched shrieks and screams and Jaime’s attempts to make her dizzy with his furious pacing, and interrupted him.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you Joffrey.” She sighed, feeling rather smug at just how much she’d accomplished, and hit the speaker button on both her office phone to silence Joffrey, and on Jaime’s phone to bring Tywin Lannister himself into the conversation. “If it’s alright with you Mr. Lannister, I’ll leave whatever happens next in your capable hands?” </p><p> </p><p>Sansas grin turned positively feral as she imagined Joffreys reaction at hearing the deep voice of the Lannister patriarch filling the now silent room, that he could still hear on his end of the phone line.</p><p> </p><p>“Indeed Miss Stark, I believe I can handle it from here. For the sake of full disclosure, I’ll advise you that I also recorded this… <em> conversation </em>. Now I leave you to calm my son and if you’d do me the service of keeping him from heading towards the airport to fly South and personally deal with his sisters son, I’d consider myself in your debt.”</p><p> </p><p>“If you deal with this in a way that means Joffrey will stay away from my daughter and myself, and even Jaime; see to it that he won’t seek any sort of misdirected notion of pay back for my supposed insults, I’ll call us square.” She conceded, going so far as to reach out and snag Jaime’s clenched fist with her own hand as he drew closer to her side, and holding on tight to do as his Father had asked, and calm him as best she could. “Once the dust settles somewhat, I’d welcome you to meet your granddaughter Mr. Lannister. It hardly seems fair to keep a score of who owes who between us if we hope to find amicability enough for you to have a relationship with my child… I’ll ask Jaime to speak with her about you and perhaps Tyrion also, so that she’s prepared for when you have the chance to come North.”</p><p> </p><p>“It would seem that even I have underestimated you Miss Stark. Well played.” Sansa squeezed Jaime’s hand as he scoffed at his Fathers admiring tone. She even relaxed and allowed him to loosen her hold on him enough so that he could lace their fingers together more intimately, and even accepted the small stroking motion he applied with his thumb over her own. “I’ll be in touch, have Jaime call his brother to see to the plans for this visit to <em> the North.” </em></p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>——————</p><p>
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</p><p>Jaime had believed himself prepared to witness Sansa going metaphorical toe to metaphorical toe with Joffrey. But he had woefully underestimated himself and was in fact, not at all prepared for what had just transpired.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa had convinced him rather easily that Joffrey would call again at some point, if she didn’t react in a way that would be made obvious to him. </p><p> </p><p>Jaime had known she was correct of course, he knew Joffrey well and it was a guarantee that when he didn’t see any sort of result immediately after his first demanding phone call, that he’d come back with more. </p><p> </p><p>So he’d let her convince him that having Joffrey work himself into a frenzy until he verbally acknowledged that he made everything about her up, would lend more credence to the truth when it eventually did come out.</p><p> </p><p>He had assumed that while he’d be angry at having to hear it, he’d manage to control himself at least a little bit so that he could let Sansa deal with him her way. </p><p> </p><p>It was by far, one of the hardest things he’d had to do. </p><p> </p><p>The first utterance of Sansa being <em> stupid </em>had his blood boiling, and that was the least scathing thing he’d said about her. That wasn’t even mentioning the things he’d said about Little Jai, himself or even his father.</p><p> </p><p>Or the threats of death he’d made.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime might have been prepared in that he made sure he was at Sansas store from the moment it opened until closing time every day since the day she had come to him, and they’d spoken in her office, so that he’d be there if Joff did call again. And he might have been prepared in that he had called his Father to inform him of what happened and to bring him into the plan that Sansa had made too.</p><p> </p><p>But he was not prepared for the visceral reactions he’d had, as that plan was being played out.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa had been utterly magnificent, and it was possibly one of the sexiest things he’d ever seen. </p><p> </p><p>He’d seen quite a bit of Sansas furious side, it had always turned him on to have her arrogantly straighten herself and glare and snarl while talking circles around someone - usually him. But watching her smirk and lazily rock back in her chair while her eyes flashed dangerously with every new insult or threat his nephew hurled, was something else entirely.</p><p> </p><p>He was so turned on it almost hurt, yet he was conflicted mentally also, because he’d only ever felt such blinding rage once before.</p><p> </p><p>The night of ‘<em> that party’. </em></p><p> </p><p>Joffrey had turned his drunken belligerence on Sansa in front of everyone, and Jaime had been so mad that he could barely breathe for fear that he’d kill the boy right then and there. And by the time he’d calmed down, the vicious and cruel bullshit lies he’d told had started making the rounds, meaning Jaime had to make a choice instead of taking his nephew to task for being an asshole while drunk…</p><p> </p><p>He obviously made the wrong one.</p><p> </p><p>This time around though, Jaime was on the other side of it completely. There was no war for loyalty in his heart. Joffrey was no longer his family to create any such concerns this time. - Sansa was. Sansa was his family <em> as well as being </em>the woman he loved, this time around. His loyalty was hers alone, as it should have been the first time.</p><p> </p><p>This time around, he didn’t want to risk letting go of his rage, for fear that by the time he calmed down, he’d lose everything that mattered to him, all over again.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you alright?” </p><p> </p><p>Jaime grunted in reply to Sansas genuine concern and turned to lean his weight into her desk beside where she was still sitting in her office chair, maintaining the grip he had on her soft little hand.</p><p> </p><p>Anchoring himself with her touch.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t want to fool himself into thinking it meant anything that she’d let him hold her hand. Just as he had not wanted to draw conclusions from her letting him hold her the way she had, when she told him about Joff and they discussed her ideas and plans for him. </p><p> </p><p>But it was nice and he was too worked up to deny it.</p><p> </p><p>He was too worked up, and he was done with hiding it. </p><p> </p><p>He <em> knew </em>his rage had to take a backseat, despite his fears of what would happen if it did, but his other overwhelming emotions and desires did not. </p><p> </p><p>He was done hiding it. He just had to hope that he wouldn’t send her running again by bringing talk of <em> them </em>into conversation again.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you remember that first time we all went to Storms End together, after you and I started seeing each other? You told me we couldn’t risk being together there if I still wasn’t ready to acknowledge that we were together?” He asked quietly, smiling internally as she rolled her eyes but twitched her lips as she thought back. <em> “That </em>is the closest I can come to explaining my mindset right now.”</p><p>
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</p><p>
  <em> “Jai, we can’t! It’s disrespectful of us. Plus you don’t want anyone finding out about us yet, and this is Baratheon territory!” She hissed, wiggling her way out of his reach as best she could, pressed into a hall alcove as she was. “You know I want to, I always want to be with you, and I don’t even care if anyone finds out, like you do! But Jaime, it’s so wrong of us to… This is Roberts family estate… As far as they are aware Joff and I are still together. What happens if I get caught with you while we are here?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Jaime smiled like a predator and lowered his face into the crook of her neck, searching for that sensitive spot below her ear that he knew made her weak. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “We won’t be caught. You went for a rest after the trip here, and if you are seen when we part ways you can say you couldn’t rest and decided to get some air or stretch your legs or something instead.” He licked slowly over the spot he had been mumbling into, knowing he had found exactly what he was looking for by the way her breathing changed and she gripped at his shoulders. “And none of them care where I am enough to come looking. Besides, you are mine not his, no matter what any of them think.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He pulled back enough to nose at her jaw while lifting her knee up his side to give him the access he wanted, to get under her sundress and into the barely there panties he just knew she was wearing. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “You haven’t shared a room with him at all in months. Not in Kings Landing when you stay at the house, and not in Lannisport when you come across with him… You have a separate room here too… If Robert hasn’t worked out that the two of you are well and truly over, he’s an idiot, and that’s not my problem.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Sansa snorted rudely at him, and Jaime answered it with a whine he pulled from her throat, as his fingers dipped into her drenched core, right there in the hall. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “No. Your problem is that you want to eat the cake but you continue to deny the calories that go with it.” She snapped, nipping at his lip as he leaned in for a kiss. “I’m your dirty little secret, not your girl. And I say that we are not fucking in this house if you want to keep it that way.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Jaime growled low in his throat and dove in to kiss her almost violently, beyond pissed off that she kept calling herself that when he’d made it plain as fucking day that he was in love with her. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “If we get caught, I’ll set the fucking record straight.” He promised. “Now, I promise I’ll be quick about it. One good fuck right here, hard and fast, to get us through this weekend, then I will behave like you clearly want me to. But Baby I can’t wait, if I can’t have you right now, my balls will explode.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He couldn’t help it, after seeing the way she held her own against Cersei’s barbed insults on the jet and then again in the car as they made their way to the Baratheon estate in Storms End, he needed to be inside her. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> His baby was always sexiest when she was a little bit pissed off. And the sex was always insanely hot then too. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Not here!” He bit her plump bottom lip for her continued complaints, and bucked himself between her spread thighs, rubbing his aching trouser clad cock against her soaked underwear covered folds, making her moan softly, in a bid to remind her what she would be missing if she seriously turned him down. “At least not in this hall Jaime! Take me to your room!”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “No time. It’ll fall off if I have to walk that far.” He huffed dramatically into her ear, making her snort again. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He chuckled, slipping his hand between their bodies to free himself and shove her underwear aside so he could find her heat, as she groaned and nodded to give him permission finally.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Jaime cursed breathlessly as his tip brushed her hot centre, and then again when he nudged her opening and slipped inside an inch. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I love you.” He promised and drove himself deep, cutting her reply off by making her gasp instead. “I love it when you’re pissed too, makes me so fucking hard for you Baby.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> His girl whined and wiggled at the feel of him pumping hard and fast in and out of her tight little cunt, yet somehow she still managed to frown at him and he fucking loved that too. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He hadn’t lied, it was going to be fast and it was going to be hard.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Jaime didn’t have it in him to gently make love to her or even worship her body as he did more often than not.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> In that moment he was so hot for her and so laser focused on coming deep inside her to mark her as his, that all he could do was hope that he’d last long enough to make her come too. </em>
</p><p>
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</p><p>Jaime shrugged almost sheepishly as her face coloured and her eyes became a little sharper, clearly having understood exactly what he was trying to tell her.</p><p> </p><p>“You asked.” He offered as her eyes narrowed as her irritation with him rose rapidly. “I answered.”</p><p> </p><p>“I meant how were you after… Because of Joffrey and the things he said!” She huffed.</p><p> </p><p>Curiously, she hadn’t slapped him. She hadn’t even pulled her hand out of his. Five years ago, the fact that she had allowed continued physical contact would have been a silent invitation to convince her she wanted to act on her own arousal too.</p><p> </p><p>Now though, he wasn’t game to push her like he had in that hall, because he wasn’t a man who would force himself on any woman who didn’t want him too. And even if Sansas body was in full support, her mind didn’t want him the way it always did five years ago.</p><p> </p><p>In <em> that </em>moment he was just grateful that she let him keep holding her hand.</p><p> </p><p>“I have set that aside to process later, I’m angry, don’t doubt it… But I need to ignore it to control it for now, plus I’ve more pressing issues that I may need to slip away to deal with soon.” He laughed at her disgusted scowl, not because it was particularly funny to be so vulgar towards someone who wasn’t interested in bantering with him, but because she wasn’t quick enough to hide the flash of interest in her eyes before she scowled at him. </p><p> </p><p>“You really didn’t… There’s been no one since?” </p><p> </p><p>Jaime changed direction and lifted his free hand to stroke the soft delicate one he still held in his other hand. He was an ass for teasing her so, and they both knew it. But she hadn’t specifically said that she needed him to stop either. Regardless, he knew it was best that he let the sexual tension drop a little bit for now.</p><p> </p><p>Just as he could process his rage at a later time, he could celebrate the fact that he’d gotten away with a bit of flirting, later. He didn’t want to scare her with too much, just because she’d sort of allowed him that little bit.</p><p> </p><p>“I had <em> more pressing issues, </em>as I’m sure that you’d realise if you got your mind out of your pants.” She sassed him with her answer.</p><p> </p><p>He hummed in amused understanding, and focused his eyes on their still joined hands as he offered up a truth or two of his own.</p><p> </p><p>“I haven’t been with anyone either.” He whispered softly. “There’s something… Undesirable, about meaningless fucking, after knowing how great sex is with someone you love.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Jaime.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I know: <em> stop it, I can’t say things like that to you now.” </em>Sarcasm was dripping from his tongue as he finished speaking.</p><p> </p><p>He gave her hand one last desperate pat and let it drop before standing up and stepping away from her desk to give her space.</p><p> </p><p>“I have to go call Tyrion, and then I’d like to have lunch with our daughter, so I’ll leave you to it.” Jaime nodded and turned towards the door.</p><p> </p><p>Sansas hand shot out just as he reached for the handle, and flicked the lock he had just released back into place as she almost awkwardly pressed her soft body against his back. </p><p> </p><p>“If we… It wouldn’t mean that everything between us is all fine now.” Jaime turned an astonished look over his shoulder where her beautiful face hovered so close to his own, his heart beginning to pound in his chest as she continued her argument and reasoning. “Maybe we need to get it out of our system so we can focus back on Jaienna, instead of what is and isn’t  happening between us… Just like in that hall in Storms End. One good fuck, hard and fast… To relieve the tension so we can go back to behaving.”</p><p> </p><p>“But it changes nothing between us?” He snorted and then licked his lip, while watching hers with as much intensity as he could muster, daring her to kiss him. “It’ll change <em> everything </em> Baby. If you give me that, I won’t stop trying until you are mine again. I’m not going to stop anyway, I want both my girls to know, see, feel, that I love them and that <em> they alone </em>are my whole world… But if we make this step now, I won’t be patient enough to wait for you to admit you want that too. I’ll push you to admit that it’s what you’ve wanted all along.”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa wavered slightly as she weighed and re-weighed her thoughts into words and her words into sentences that she could deliver in a way he’d understand.</p><p> </p><p>He could smell her, and feel her, and breathed her in. She was so close that his senses were swarming and buzzing and begging for him to act before she thought too hard and decided that she didn’t really want to offer what she was.</p><p> </p><p>“I said it wouldn’t make everything <em> fine </em> between us.” She stated clearly. “Because it won’t. For you and I to be <em> fine </em> , we are going to need time and communication. There needs to be forgiveness from both of us, and we need to take it slow so that we don’t crash and burn again… It’s not <em> just </em>you and me that could have their hearts broken if we can’t get past our past Jai.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaime reached around and pulled her until she stood between his body and the thick door of her office, needing to at least be face to face with her to clarify what it was she was saying exactly. </p><p> </p><p>His heart was doing flips as it made assumptions, but the rest of him was cautious enough to need more than she’d given.</p><p> </p><p>“You mean to say that I’m not alone in what I want?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s always been you Jai. That’s why it hurt so much and for so long. It’s a big part of why I’ve been so scared having you here.” She admitted. “It was easy to hate you when I wasn’t being reminded every single day that I love you.”</p><p> </p><p>“It was easier to make myself believe I did the right thing <em> back then </em>, when I wasn’t faced with seeing you every day too.” He repaid her honesty with his own. “I’m so sorry Baby. I can’t undo it, I wish I could. I wish I’d have heard you back then and not just my own thoughts on how it was better for you to move on with life without me and my family around.” He smiled sadly and thumbed at the tears building in her beautiful blue eyes. “I’d have had you, and I’d have gotten to have all those amazing first moments with Jai too. Maybe there’d even be another one by now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe.” She laughed softly and shook her head. “But we can’t go back, only forward and though I never expected to and I’ve blatantly denied it, I think that I do want to try... I just need it to be a slow process is all. I need to learn to trust you again.”</p><p> </p><p>“A minute ago you wanted me to fuck you against this door… Not exactly what I’d consider <em> slow.” </em> He teased, making her scowl at him as she tugged his hips roughly until he was pressed firmly against her.</p><p> </p><p>“To get the tension out of the way so we <em> could go slow!” </em>She explained as if he was stupid.</p><p> </p><p>“Mmhmm.” He bent low enough to nuzzle at her nose and rest his forehead against hers. “Sounds entirely logical. However I have one minor adjustment that needs to be made, and I’ll agree to this once off until we work through some stuff and are ready for more.”</p><p> </p><p>“What’s that?”</p><p> </p><p>Jaime tilted her face more fully to his and brushed his bottom lip over hers and then pressed a barely there peck to her top lip.</p><p> </p><p>“If I’m going to have my woman for the first time in five years, you can bet your ass I’ll be making love to her properly, even if it’s on the floor or a sofa, just so long as it’s love, <em> not </em> rushed fucking.”</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t give her a chance to reply, he wasn’t exactly in a rush, but he had had enough talking for the time being too. After so long spent without her and then so many weeks and months in her company being unable to do so, he was desperate to taste her lips on his once again.</p><p> </p><p>He most certainly hadn’t expected her to make such a crazy, probably <em> unhealthy, </em>full turnaround just because she was worked up from dealing with Joffrey… Especially when they’d barely touched on their issues!</p><p> </p><p>But he was a selfish man too. And if Sansa wanted to fuck him blind in her office <em> before </em> they started working on their issues, he was most definitely <em> not </em>going to say no.</p><p> </p><p>They groaned in unison, into each other’s mouths, as their tongues finally met again.</p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>——————</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Two weeks after Sansa had entrusted the job of dealing with Joffrey using the recordings she had taken, to Tywin Lannister, Jaime had been informed that his sisters son was taking some time away from the city and their family, to work alongside his Uncle Stannis and learn the ins and outs of the Baratheon companies shipping division, under the watchful eye of Tywins most valuable and more importantly <em> loyal </em>security officer: Sandor Clegane.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa remembered the large, scarred man with at least some small amount of fondness, because although he’d never been kind to her necessarily, he’d never been inclined to try to intimidate her as some of the others had, when she had been exposed to their company. Sandor was rough around the edges and could be quite rude, but he took none of Joffreys crap. </p><p> </p><p>He worked for Tywin, not Joffrey. He didn’t need to take his crap.</p><p> </p><p>So in learning that he was stuck out on Dragonstone Island where there was barely any mobile coverage, and little to no entertainment that would be of interest to Joffrey, under the stern supervision of Stannis and the watchful eyes of Clegane, she felt confident that she need not worry about him again.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime also informed her that even Cersei would behave, all his Father had to say there was that he’d pull Lannister support from Roberts businesses if she carried on over any of it. She didn’t like it of course, she had even carried on at her Father and brothers over their misplaced loyalty. But ultimately she knew herself, that Joffrey was out of control and her Fathers threats were not idle.</p><p> </p><p>Nor were Jaime and Sansas. If any moves were made against them, they would go public with the recordings, Tywin would cut the whole Baratheon branch of the family off financially, and the media would eat Joffrey alive for it - Cersei and Robert also. </p><p> </p><p>The woman tended to act blind when it come to her sons faults, but she wasn’t so stupid as to miss that he had them, and she wasn’t so stupid as to risk financial and social ruin because he’d been forced to deal with punishments he had brought upon himself.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa personally didn’t care though.</p><p> </p><p>She had stopped caring about any of it the day she had spoken with Joffrey. She had the recordings if she needed them, and though she couldn’t use them to deal with Joffrey via the right channels and have him arrested, she wasn’t above doing whatever she had to to keep him away from her baby. That was enough for her.</p><p> </p><p>All she had needed to know was that Jaienna would be left alone now, and she did know that, so she was done with the nonsense.</p><p> </p><p>Her mind had turned immediately to another issue altogether: <em> Jaime.  </em></p><p> </p><p>The man had done everything she asked and far, far more. The main concerns she had about giving him a chance, was that he’d choose to walk away from her daughter when faced with the pressures of his family. Or that he’d let his family take her daughter from her or something equally as terrifying.</p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t walked away.</p><p> </p><p>He had fought. </p><p> </p><p>He had been honest about their past knowing full well that it could cause irreparable rifts in his family… He had been there <em> every single day, </em> to prove he was genuine in his desire to get to know Jaienna. And no matter how awful she tried to make him feel for it, or how vicious and mean she had been at times ensuring he knew that he had no hope of earning <em> her </em>affection again, he kept at it in ways that actually helped her to begin to trust him again.</p><p> </p><p>When push came to shove, he’d given her whatever she needed when she needed it. - Space after she had walked away the day Jaienna had first called him ‘Daddy’... And <em> love </em>when she’d asked for physical affections and release from their sexual tension, when she had become worked up with adrenaline after dealing with Joffrey.</p><p> </p><p>He had even suffered through dinner and regular interactions with her family after they got the sexual tension out of their systems and agreed to take things very slow and very seriously, with honest communication and time spent getting to really know each other again.</p><p> </p><p>“Is dat him? The Grandfarva?” </p><p> </p><p>Sansa breathed deeply to avoid letting out the laughter that wanted to erupt from her, as she eyed the little old man hunching over his waking frame in a bid to reach his bag on the carousel, that her daughter was rudely pointing at and yelling about from her perch on her ‘Daddy’s’ broad shoulders. </p><p> </p><p>Jaime had no such care, the fool near dropped their daughter entirely as he tipped his head and roared with laughter. </p><p> </p><p>The man was a menace when it came to encouraging their daughters cheek at the best of times. </p><p> </p><p>He really could have given their four year old daughter more to work with, when he described his Father as an old man and his brother as a short one. Such embarrassing questions would not be being yelled across the airport arrivals lounge if he’d done so.</p><p> </p><p>Likely he was <em> only slightly </em> more amused by the idea of Tywin Lannister being a hunched man who was unfortunate enough to have his age show obviously, than by the amusing way she had taken to referring to the man himself. Though Sansa could at least enjoy a laugh over that because it was not disrespectful in any way, unlike Jaienna rudely pointing to the older man and yelling across the crowded airport.</p><p> </p><p>She actually felt that it was quite fitting that someone like Tywin Lannister have such a title as: <em> ‘The Grandfarva.’  </em></p><p> </p><p>“There they are Little Jai, over there, that hall they just came from leads out to where the private planes land. <em> The Grandfarva </em> is too fancy for commercial travel. He owns his own plane… Several in fact.” Jaime explained, pointing in the direction of the roped off area that was reserved for when private flights were expected, and the two men walking out of the hall he’d indicated. “But unlike at Lannisport International Airport, he doesn’t have the influence in Winterfell to implement plans for a completely separate area for private check ins and departures.”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa snorted at the confused frown on her daughters face and leaned in closer to the idiot she was sitting on. “You realise she’s four and has no idea what you said, let alone that you are disparaging your Father for things that you, yourself take advantage of?”</p><p> </p><p>“All the better, she can’t dob me in.” Jaime offered smugly, before sneaking a quick and unexpected kiss to her cheek. “I need her to love me more than him. Wha- ouch!”</p><p> </p><p>“Auntie Ya said I had to ‘tect Mama like a angry baby Wolf if any boy tried to kiss her.” Sansa giggled uncontrollably as her daughter growled and tugged at her fathers hair roughly. “You are a boy Daddy, so you can’t kiss Mama. Auntie Ya said so!”</p><p> </p><p>“Boy? Come here you vicious little lioness!” Jaime gripped their now squealing daughter around to waist and pulled her off his shoulders and around against his chest to face him, all while tickling her mercilessly. “I’m a man not a boy, and Aunt Arya can kiss my butt! I’ll kiss Mama if I want to because <em> I love her… </em> Same as I will kiss you if I want, my crazy girl: because <em> I love you too.” </em></p><p> </p><p>Sansa laughed happily at the pair of fools as Jaime peppered Jaienna with loud smacking smooches while she shrieked with laughter and tried to wiggle herself away from him.</p><p> </p><p>She was utterly spellbound by such a sweet, innocent moment of genuine love and happiness. She was utterly floored by the fact that it made her so happy, and excited for a possible future that she hadn’t expected and had honestly believed was always going to be out of her reach until only a couple of weeks ago.</p><p> </p><p>What she was watching and feeling in that moment, was how it was supposed to be.</p><p> </p><p>They were a family now.</p><p> </p><p>“Well… That answers that Father. I may be shorter than everyone else here, with the exception of my sweet, giggling niece there, but even I saw that sneaky kiss Jaime stole from our dear Sansa, and the whole airport heard his unusual declaration.” Sansa spun around and smiled at the two men who had finally reached their sides, and then cocked a brow as Tyrion held his hand out expectantly… Not towards her for a handshake in greeting, but towards his father. “I’ll take cash. I want to feel my victory in my hands.”</p><p> </p><p>Tywin Lannister huffed in clear annoyance, but reached into his fitted suit jacket and pulled out a fold of cash held snuggly with a golden money clip, and dropped it into his sons waiting hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Do I ask?” She ventured, while Jaime and Jaienna pulled their play up enough to catch their breaths.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello my darling Sansa! You are a sight for tired eyes like mine!” Her old friend grinned at her and then waved his newfound cash at her. “I bet Father that Jaime was already completely at the mercy of his sweet daughter, and positively cow eyed over you again.” Tyrion explained.</p><p> </p><p>“I hardly bet against those obvious points Tyrion. I simply argued that Sansa likely hadn’t yet given up her fight, despite Jaime’s likely amateurish attempts at wooing her into giving him another chance.” Tywin clarified.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa held her hand out to Tyrion and cocked a brow in challenge as he suspiciously and slowly handed the money over. She smiled in thanks and patted it against the taller and older Lannister mans chest.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s got a lot of work to do.” She grinned cheekily.</p><p>“Stealing a sneaky kiss does not earn him everything. You are correct Mr Lannister, I’m not so easily won!”</p><p> </p><p>Much to her immense shock, Tywin Lannister actually huffed a quiet laugh.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey! That’s not what you said in your office the other-“ Jaime started and then bit his tongue and smiled sheepishly at her pointed glare, thinking better of continuing his vein of thought and instead leaning close to kiss her cheek again quickly. “Sorry. Let’s forget I spoke Hmm?” She hummed in agreement and winked at her baby's suspicious but curious look, while Jaime turned to his brother and Father.</p><p> </p><p>“Dad, Ty, I’d like you to meet my crazy, beautiful, and apparently aggressively protective daughter: Jaienna. Little Jai, this is <em> The Grandfarva </em>and your Uncle Ty.”</p><p> </p><p>The silence grew to be uncomfortable as they waited for Jaienna to finish studying them both enough to speak.</p><p> </p><p>“You said <em> The Grandfarva </em> was old, but he’s skins not all squishy. He’s not even wearing a comfy cardigan!” Jaienna whispered accusingly to Jaime, as she continued to stare at Tywin Lannister.</p><p> </p><p>Apparently in her mind, he was not old enough.</p><p> </p><p><em> “Jaienna.” </em>Sansa was horrified, while Jaime and Tyrion both were forced into coughing fits to keep from laughing. </p><p> </p><p>“Hmm. My youngest Grandchild and already my favourite Lannister.” The man quipped dryly and held his hand out to her starstruck baby, to shake hers properly. “Jaienna, it pleases me to finally meet you. And I assure you, despite appearances, I am quite old. But under no circumstances will I ever don a <em> ‘comfy cardigan’. </em>I have an image to maintain. It means something to be ‘The Grandfather’ of The Lannister family, child.”</p><p> </p><p>“I like you. Want to come to Little Birdies and play in my corner with me?” Jaienna smiled intently at The Lannister patriarch as if there wasn’t a single strange thing about asking the man to play. “You can read my unicorn book if you want, that’s how Daddy was allowed to be my friend.”</p><p> </p><p>“Perhaps after we check into the hotel and have some lunch.” The man offered as a compromise. </p><p> </p><p>Sansa gaped in surprise as Jaienna leaned towards the man and wiggled her fingers, trading her Fathers arms for her Grandfathers without blinking. Something Tywin Lannister even allowed, despite the obvious fact that she could actually walk on her own. </p><p> </p><p>“Shall we then? It would seem I have a date in a play corner with a lioness and a unicorn book.” He challenged her and his sons with an arrogant look.</p><p> </p><p>“Why does everyone keep saying dat? Lion-ess. That’s silly. You say it like li-on. No esses on the end.”</p><p> </p><p>“Girl lions have esses at the end my dear, which is why you keep hearing it. You are a lion and a girl, thus you are a young lioness.”</p><p> </p><p>“But I’m a person.” Jaienna objected. “Mama sometimes says I’m her ‘Little Birdy Blue Jai.’ Or just ‘Little Jai’ for shorter… But ‘dats a nickname. And Auntie Ya calls me pup or baby wolf but they’s just nicknames too... Is Lion-ess a new nickname, or do you think I’m really a lion? Sometimes Old Nan gets a bit confused because she’s old, are you confused ‘The Grandfarva’?”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa froze completely and stared in shock right alongside the gaping Lannister brothers, as the normally terrifying Tywin Lannister not only carried a child who could just as easily walk beside him, but also chatted and even chuckled at her incredibly rude and rapid fire questions.</p><p> </p><p>“What the fuck is… <em> Jaime, </em>I feel it necessary to point out that your daughter appears to be some sort of tiny, adorable witch.” Tyrions eyes followed the pair with awe.</p><p> </p><p>“I was aware of that already, but even I didn’t expect <em> that.” </em> She snorted at Jaime’s answer as he moved close to her side and even wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close enough and nuzzle her cheek a little. “You are real, right?” He whispered against her ear. “You and Jai, and my uncomfortably happy <em> grandfatherly </em> father… All real?”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be ridiculous, you aren’t dreaming you idiot.” </p><p> </p><p>She laughed and turned enough to kiss him quickly and properly on the lips before she pulled away from him and followed her child and <em> The Grandfarva </em> towards the exit. Leaving the Lannister brothers to sort the bags that had mysteriously appeared behind them by some stray airport attendant, and catch up when they could.</p><p> </p><p>“Considering you just kissed me <em> in public, </em>I’m inclined to believe that you are lying to me Sansa… No way have I won you over that much yet!” </p><p> </p><p>She giggled as Jaime’s voice carried behind her and followed her as she moved quickly to catch Jaienna and Tywin.</p><p>
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</p><p>By mid afternoon Jaienna had passed out without the need for any hot chocolate, and had been laid down for her nap on the sofa in Sansas office. </p><p> </p><p>Tywin had commandeered the small seated area she had put in along the rear wall near the coffee counter, for his own personal office, and was sipping away at the cup of tea Gilly had made fresh for him, while he worked. </p><p> </p><p>While Tyrion had become lost somewhere amongst the rare books Sansa kept along the small second story balcony that looked out over the rest of the store.</p><p> </p><p>She had plenty of work to do herself, but it had been an interesting and rather exhausting day with The Lannister men, and none of the work she had waiting was particularly pressing except serving the few customers as they came in and out.</p><p> </p><p>Honestly she was just too caught up in her own mind to bother with more than that. It could wait.</p><p> </p><p>“Father made a point earlier.” Sansa hummed in question as Jaime leaned into the counter beside her, taking it upon himself to join her behind it without invite. “He put me on leave from the company so that I could be here until we had things sorted, so he can’t really make comment-“ He paused, sighing heavily as he ran a hand through his loose and slightly wild and overgrown looking locks. “I’ve been here months, not working and disturbing you at work everyday instead.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re hardly disturbing me when you are spending your time entertaining Jaienna.” She corrected him, finding herself oddly nervous over what he might be hinting at. “I don’t even mind it when you do bug me now.” She teased.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime smiled slyly and leaned sideways a touch, invading her space yet again. As he had been doing quite a bit throughout the day.</p><p> </p><p>“I know that, Darling.” He chuckled as she shuddered at his low voice rasping so close to her ear. “But I have been slacking in all other areas of my life of late too,</p><p>including work… I love being here with you both, you know that. I don’t really <em> want </em>to go home to Lannisport or anywhere that you and Jai aren’t, because nowhere will be home without you both now.”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa pulled away enough to step back and lean her weight into the counter opposite him, so they could converse without the intimacy and she could still keep an eye on the store behind him too.</p><p> </p><p>She needed space so that she could think, because anxiety was building like raging flood waters inside of her.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, so you don’t want to leave but you feel like you need to put effort into something other than us. I can’t argue with that Jai.” She crossed her arms over her chest in what she hoped was a casual gesture. She didn’t like it at all, the very idea of him leaving again filled her with negative thoughts about whether it would be for good and she couldn’t help it. “What are you thinking is the best way to get around it?”</p><p> </p><p>Jaime frowned at her and stood to move close enough to grip her upper arms, without completely invading her space. </p><p> </p><p>He could read her so well now, despite not really knowing her that well anymore. </p><p> </p><p>It kind of bugged her.</p><p> </p><p>She kind of loved it too.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll go back for work and come home to my girls every weekend if needs be, sometimes I will work remotely from here if I can, and you and Jai can come with me to Lannisport sometimes too, if you can leave the store in Gillys capable hands?” He suggested, lazily thumbing at her arms in a soothing manner. “I’ll even pay her extra for you if you want, so we aren’t asking too much of her. And I’ll buy Jaienna a tablet so I can call her whenever, even if you’re busy and can’t spare your phone for that. - You can make all other decisions on if she’s allowed to have it otherwise, of course! I just want to be able to still meet her to read and play when I’m at lunch or just bored in my office every day I’m away.”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa rolled her eyes at his extravagance in wanting to buy their four year old her own device so he could call her directly, but incredibly touched that he’d think of that too. </p><p> </p><p>She gave in to his unspoken invitation to step into his arms.</p><p> </p><p>His affection had been almost overwhelming that day, but it was the first day since they had made love in her office, that they’d shared more than the odd pat of an arm or squeeze of the hand, so she could admit to herself that she was a little drunk on so much physicality after so long without a lovers gentle touch too.</p><p> </p><p>Besides, she had always been so drawn to Jaime, physically, mentally and emotionally.</p><p> </p><p>It was stupid to deny herself his comfort because of old hang ups that he’d been working so hard to help her move beyond.</p><p> </p><p><em> “This </em> is why I think it’s important that I at least go back occasionally, rather than making the decision to just work from here more permanently.” He whispered softly and even begged a swift peck of her lips. “You and me… It’s too easy to fall back into just <em> being together, </em>Baby. I want to do as I have today and kiss you or touch you, because I can again and because I’ve missed it so much.-”</p><p> </p><p>“But we agreed to go slowly enough that we could be confident that we are dealing with our history and so we can really get to know each other again, before we step back into <em> being together.” </em>She finished for him.</p><p> </p><p>“Something like that.” He smiled slightly and reached up to tuck a fallen lock behind her ear with gentle fingers. “If I’m allowed to touch you as I want, we’ll end up naked and in bed together before we work everything out, and not just to deal with our mutual frustrations like last time, when we fell onto your office floor together naked.”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa sighed sadly, knowing that he was right. Much as she liked being in his arms as she presently was, and much as she had <em> really </em> enjoyed the intimacy they’d shared in her office two weeks beforehand, they did <em> need </em>to take it slow. It was only a very small amount of time ago that she had wanted to maintain the distance between them. And not so long before that she had hated him bitterly, for the way he had thrown her away and ripped her heart to shreds.</p><p> </p><p>They didn’t just need to take their time for their daughters sake, but for their own too.</p><p> </p><p>She might have come to realise that they were all each other’s family just that day in the airport… But they had to work at being so too.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa couldn’t help the fear that was building inside of her that questioned if he felt the same way though. Despite all that he had said and done already to prove himself, including having just explained his sound reasons to her? The idea of him going back to Lannisport now, scared the hell out of her.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you need from me, to be able to trust that I am not leaving to <em> leave? </em>What can I do that will help you to understand that I’m trying to help us be better together?” Jaime tilted her face back to his and smiled sadly at her as her watery eyes shot back to his, her thoughts were apparently made clear for him to see on her face. “I don’t have to go, I can send for my things and find a permanent place here, I can work remotely. Any meetings I need to attend I can do via zoom or conference calls, and I can make day trips if it’s something I need to be there in person for. I can step down to a less prominent position that will allow me more freedom to do so; or pay my assistant more to be my physical presence in the office for me… I can figure it out… Say the word and that’s what I’ll do… I only meant to give us distance to keep us to a slower pace, not because I don’t want to be here.”</p><p> </p><p>Sansa bit her lip as she thought it through, it wasn’t fair of her to ask for anything, but she really wasn’t sure that she would trust that he was coming back and was not in the process of letting her down again, and <em> worse, </em>letting Jaienna down too. </p><p> </p><p>It was the thing she feared when she had come around to the idea of letting him get to know her baby… That one day he’d break her daughters sweet little heart the way he had Sansas. Now she had to be fearful for her own again too.</p><p> </p><p>Yet what she was thinking was a big demand that she knew she could only make because of who he was, which wasn’t fair either. </p><p> </p><p>“Tell me Baby. What do I do?”</p><p> </p><p>“Buy a house.” She whispered. “Set up a home here so that Jaienna has somewhere to go to be with you, when we are all ready for that step. Somewhere that isn’t a hotel room… And so that you’re legally and financially tied here as well as emotionally invested in being here as often as work will allow you to be.” Her heart was racing as she studied his eyes intently. “Make your home here with us. Commit to being <em> ours.” </em></p><p> </p><p>“Done.” He shrugged, not even needing to think it over. Only a Lannister would think nothing of buying property on such a whim. “But I have a condition of my own.” </p><p> </p><p>“What’s that?” She asked, tipping her chin in determination in the face of his outright challenge.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll buy <em> us </em> a home. Something big and flashy with a huge yard for Jai, and a dog or seven if she wants them. Something befitting a Lannister and his family… I’ll cover all costs and I’ll have cards to my accounts organised for you-“ he pointed at her nose as she opened her mouth to argue. “-you’re the mother of my child, and I’ve not paid a single cent in child support for her whole life. I’m also independently wealthy <em> and </em>the son of a multi-billionaire. It’s not up for discussion.” He dictated sternly, reminding her disturbingly of his Father. “I just want you to have it to use for anything for the house I’ll buy us - for example, or even just emergencies when I’m not home.”</p><p> </p><p>“You want me and Jaienna to move in with you… And rely on you financially.” She begged clarification, utterly floored at the very notion of making herself so vulnerable… She had worked hard to be self sufficient and independent and it felt very much like he was dismissing that.</p><p> </p><p>“No, I’m asking you to let us be <em> a family. </em> A family who can make <em> our home </em> together in the house that you’ve asked me to buy.” He stated pointedly. “I don’t mean that you and I will share a bedroom yet or anything quite that serious romantically. We can be just roommates for as long as you like, but we will be able to have quality time together when I am here… The finances were specifically to cover my own responsibility as firstly a <em> homeowner, </em> and secondly as Jais Father, not necessarily as <em> your man </em> or whatever… I respect that you are independent Sansa. I respect that you don’t need or want my money. But you asked me to make myself vulnerable by having financial responsibilities here, not thinking about the fact that I already had them and for a greater reason than a bloody building on a spot of land that happens to belong to me. My <em> family </em> will draw me back, not some soulless house that will mean nothing if my girls aren’t there… In return I’m asking you to allow a little vulnerability of your own, and let me help however and wherever you will allow… And as I said, help me to make the house I buy us, into a <em> home </em> for <em> our family.” </em></p><p> </p><p>That hadn’t exactly been what she had expected when she had thrown that request out between them. She wasn’t even sure she truly meant it either. Yet she couldn’t complain because once again he was proving himself willing to do whatever she asked of him. </p><p> </p><p>And she <em> had </em>asked.</p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t really fault his plans or what he’d asked of her either, not once he’d clarified what he meant and his reasons.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa let out a deep, shuddering breath and nodded determinedly. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> If he could give so blindly, so could she. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jaime’s smile was so wide and pleased that she could see all of his teeth including the back ones. He cupped her head in both of his big hands and kissed her deeply, pouring all of the emotions he was feeling at her agreement into her without mercy.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to sit in your office and check out the real estate listings online while my littlest love naps and my big love works to put food on the table for us.” He winked playfully and swooped in for another deep kiss. “I’ll have to talk to Dad about work, but I won’t be going back until we have our home set up and you two are settled in there. Alright?” </p><p> </p><p>“That could take a while-“</p><p> </p><p>“I’m a Lannister Sansa, it’ll take me no time at all. We will have to go and pick everything out so that we can have our stuff delivered as soon as whatever house I buy is settled and legally ours… But it’ll be weeks at most, not months. Providing there’s a place available that suits us.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re completely mad.” She laughed and swatted at him for patting her bottom cheekily.</p><p> </p><p><em> “Madly in love? </em> Yes, I am. With <em> you, </em> with <em> our daughter, </em> and with finally having found the thing I didn’t even realise I was missing… My place in the world, <em> my home.”  </em></p><p> </p><p>Jaime smiled so happily at her that there was no possible way he was just saying it for the sake of saying it. He was genuinely at peace with where they had found themselves and hopefully where they were heading too. </p><p> </p><p>And all of a sudden, all of her past hurts seemed to matter a whole lot less. </p><p> </p><p>Because she was genuinely at peace with where they were now, and hopefully where they were heading together too.</p><p> </p><p>He’d come North looking for the truth and found his home, forcing her to find hers and Jaiennas as he did.</p><p> </p><p>“Now get to work! I’m going to steal sleepy cuddles with my favourite person and find some houses to seek your approval for!” He kissed her forehead and sauntered away whistling, and even dancing into the hall as he reached the doorway.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa could not have predicted any of this even only so far back as the day before. Their romantic relationship might be being forced onto a slow path, but nothing else was apparently. And all she could do was hang on for the ride as ‘Cyclone Jaime’ turned her whole world on its head over and over again.</p><p> </p><p>He’d come North, forced her to hear him out, begged her to give him a chance, worked hard to prove himself to her. He’d fought for her, made clear to his Father that she and Jaienna were his to protect. He’d made the effort with not just her and Jai, but Gilly and her family too. Then he’d brought his family <em> to her, </em>to rebuild their bonds, rather than expecting her to risk going to them.</p><p> </p><p>He’d made her love him again.</p><p> </p><p>He was making his home wherever she and their daughter were going to be.</p><p> </p><p>He was her family, the man she loved and her daughters father.</p><p> </p><p>Now that she was in that moment, she wouldn’t change it for the world, because it had just become her whole world.</p><p> </p><p>No matter how much work it took them, she knew that they’d be happy.</p><p>
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</p><p>——————</p><p>
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</p><p>
  <b> <em>One year later:</em> </b>
</p><p>
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</p><p>Jaime was exhausted.</p><p> </p><p>He’d just landed at Winterfell after a solid month of being stuck at work in Lannisport.</p><p> </p><p>Not that he minded having to physically be at the office from time to time, but usually he was only gone for a week out of a month, and sometimes he could swing convincing Sansa to go with him, even if occasionally it was <em> just Sansa, </em>because of school or other commitments their darling girl had on her little social calendar.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa hadn’t been able to make it across at all this time, which meant he’d gone a full damned month with only video calls and texts to get him through missing his family.</p><p> </p><p>But with his Father out sick with a particularly aggressive bout of the flu, and the frankly suicidal doctors refusing to either discharge him from the hospital in the first week and a half, and then ordering him to take a leave of absence when he was allowed home again, so he could recover. Jaime had no choice but to be there to help his brother and uncles to run the company. And also support his aunts as they attempted to keep the Great Lion in his cage so he could get better.</p><p> </p><p>He had been worried about his Father after Tyrion called to tell him the old man was sick, and in the first days he was there too. But ultimately he realised that he was wasting his time being concerned that the stubborn old bastard would die on him.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime was fairly sure that the Gods were too busy fighting over who would be the unfortunate one who’d have to eventually take his soul, and figure out where they were going to contain it for eternity, to rush their final decision. </p><p> </p><p>So Tywin Lannister wasn’t going anywhere.</p><p> </p><p>Certainly not because of something as common and pedestrian as a bout of the flu.</p><p> </p><p>Once he was recovered enough to return to the office, he’d permitted Jaime to stay only long enough for a meeting so that they could all detail what his father had missed and explain whatever decisions they’d made in his stead. </p><p> </p><p>Then he’d been dismissed like an annoying pest basically. </p><p> </p><p>His Father ordered him to go home to his girls.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Where he belonged.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jaime wasn’t about to complain about that though, because his Father was right as usual, it was where he belonged.</p><p> </p><p>He stretched his back and neck as he cleared the hall into the arrivals lounge, cracking more joints than he thought necessary, thanks to a combination of his steadily advancing years, the blistering cold that indicated winter wasn’t far away now, and his own physical and mental exhaustion.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa was waiting for him just on the other side of the private flight arrivals ropes. Jaime ducked under them to take a shortcut instead of following them for the extra <em> maybe </em> ten steps, and pulled her straight into a bruising kiss.</p><p> </p><p>His whole body relaxed at the feel of her soft curves against his harder lines, and at the taste of her on his tongue and lips.</p><p> </p><p>She felt like home.</p><p> </p><p>She tasted like home.</p><p> </p><p>And then he tensed in surprise at the hard whack she laid to the back of his head, making him laugh and pull away a touch.</p><p> </p><p>“Did I deserve that?” He mumbled against her cocky grin.</p><p> </p><p>“You did.” </p><p> </p><p>Jaime shrugged, amused by her antics but rather uncaring about exactly what he was supposedly in trouble for, and went right back to kissing her.</p><p> </p><p>He’d make it up to her, whatever it was.</p><p> </p><p>If she let him, he’d spend all night making it up to her…</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want to know what you did?” She giggled and rubbed her sweet little lip against the curve of his chin as she pulled back from his lips just a touch and settled herself into his arms more comfortably.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime hummed in question but focused his attention on running his hands over her back and around her curves, under her coat so that she wouldn’t bash him again for so obviously groping at her in public.</p><p> </p><p>“You left me a present.” She hinted.</p><p> </p><p>“Did I?” He cocked a brow at her and waited for her to elaborate.</p><p> </p><p>“Indeed. <em> You! </em>Jaime Lannister! Left me with a belly full of arms and legs again!” She accused.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime scoffed at her, and then laughed.</p><p> </p><p>He’d done that to her accidentally, <em>twice</em> <em>now…</em> Apparently that made it fodder for jokes.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh don’t laugh.” She warned. “It’s possible Jai, and it’s true. There’s also more to it, perhaps I should have hit you <em> twice!”  </em></p><p> </p><p>Jaime was genuinely amused that she was so intent on selling her little story. But he wasn’t going to fall for it.</p><p> </p><p>She’d given birth to their second surprise baby only a few months ago.</p><p> </p><p>His adorable Brienne was the unplanned result of their <em> tension relieving office romp, </em> and the catalyst for his being able to convince his then girlfriend, to give up their <em> go slow </em> plans with him, and agree to make him spend his life doing everything he could to worship her and really make up for all the shit he had pulled on her in their earlier times together and apart.</p><p> </p><p>He’d knocked her up without meaning to again.</p><p> </p><p>His first baby girl had brought them back together, when he learned of her, and his second had put his ring on her Mamas finger for him, when he’d learned of her.</p><p> </p><p>And he worshipped them for it.</p><p> </p><p>But to his point, Brie was only ten weeks old when he’d had to fly out for Lannisport.</p><p> </p><p>She was the reason Sansa hadn’t been able to join him at all. It was too dangerous to expose her to the flu that had attacked <em> The Grandfarva. </em></p><p> </p><p>Because she was still so new.</p><p> </p><p>He and Sansa had only been able to make love again for a few weeks. In fact they had only done so a few times before he left, because apparently it’s hard to find time where you won’t be interrupted with a five year old and a newborn around. Then when you do manage to find that small chance, you also have to be in the mood too! Plus, Sansa was breastfeeding, which was supposed to limit the chances of falling pregnant too.</p><p> </p><p>The odds favoured his theory that she was having a laugh with him.</p><p> </p><p>“So I knocked you up with twins, did I? You realise that we only had sex a couple times before I left, Baby.” He argued smugly. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes!” She growled dangerously, grabbing a handful of his hair and tugging him low enough that they were nose to nose. “And I’m well aware of how often we had sex Jaime… But you and your crazy, persistent Lannister super sperm seem to be rather adept at hunting out my poor unsuspecting eggs and laying claim to them like microscopic conquerors! And apparently now <em> one egg </em> is just not enough! Your assholes had to up the ante again and stick their wiggling tail flags in a second one as well!”</p><p> </p><p>Jaime narrowed his eyes at her, but held off giving any consideration to the shock and excitement and pride building in his blood, because for all that she was putting on quite the display of temper, right there in the middle of the airport arrivals lounge, he could clearly see she was more amused than anything.</p><p> </p><p>So he still <em> mostly </em>believed she was having a laugh at him.</p><p> </p><p>“That was very descriptive… Want to go home so I can really set my egg-conquering-sperm-armies loose in your battlefield?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her playfully and then laughed as she smacked him up the back of the head again… Twice.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa pulled back and out of his arms completely, reaching into her bag and shoving a printout she pulled free at him with a smirk, before reaching for the smaller of his two suitcases and turning to walk away, dragging his bag on its wheels behind her.</p><p> </p><p>Jaime was left gaping at the grainy black and white ultrasound image of a set of twins in utero.</p><p> </p><p>“Meet baby ‘a’ and baby ‘b’, Daddy!” She called over her shoulder at him as she wandered away. “They’ll be here in around seven months, give or take a few weeks on the sooner side, for twins… But Jai and Brie are waiting at home with Auntie Ya, for you to <em> finally come home, </em>so now's a good time to learn to prioritise your babies needs according to which ones are more pressing and what you can give of yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>“You weren’t kidding?” He yelled while gripping the handle of his bigger suitcase in one hand and the picture of his newest children in the other and running to catch her up. </p><p> </p><p>“Nope.” She sing-songed, popping the ‘p’ and grinning at him as he reached her side. “Surprise you’re a Daddy again.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaime snorted a disbelieving laugh and dropped the handle of the suitcase to pick her up instead and spin her around right in the main entryway of Winterfell International Airport.</p><p> </p><p>“Baby… You are… I am so excited! God do I love you!” He gushed, overcome with sheer elation. <em> “More babies!” </em></p><p> </p><p>“Welcome home, My Love.” </p>
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